FTD Superhero

*** Important notice: Due to difficulties beyond my control (FTD) I'm having trouble keeping track and returning correspondences. I've also lost or deleted some by accident. If you've sent me an application for the FTD Patient Support Group or any other correspondence and not received a reply, please resend. 

* I run a private FTD Patient Support Group on Facebook. It is open to those with a firm FTD diagnosis. The support group is a place where those with FTD can gather in a positive environment and realize there not alone. It's also a source of accurate information which is rare in the quick changing world of FTD. The director of AFTD, Sharon Denny is a permanent guest member. AFTD has been kind enough to open up there medical board to answer member questions. Please email me at howardglickftd@gmail.com to join.

Howard
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One of the FTD Patient Support Group members posted this to the group. I thought I would share it. Many of the members picked out there own FTD Superheroes to help in the fight.

These are the FTD SUPERHEROES! Each one focused on fighting off our evil nemeses (family who don't understand, friends who doubt, people who say stupid things, brain plaque, tau and beta-amyloid, apathy, doctors, medicine side effects and brain atrophy). Pick your hero and have fun fighting.

Lady T in her cape

Haven't used my headphones in 3 weeks. The AAA battery it used died and my extra batteries found a new home back in NYC. Can't decide whether to buy a 4 pack or more cost effective pack from Target or Costco. Have been trying to buy some for about a month. Cannot make a decision.

On my 4th kitchen garbage pale. Keep buying them and returning. To tall, wrong color, to short. Cannot make a decision.

Still nothing up on the walls yet. Did print pics of my kids. That's a start.

Had some pregnant neighbor trouble. Yesterday during my 3pm afternoon rest period I had the music on. Not blasting, but Friday afternoonish enjoyment. Not Hendrix or Black Sabbath, but CSNY - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. A few weeks ago she complained and I tried to get times that were okay to play. Instead, she mentioned they have a stereo that could blast me out. Okay, I'm not one to put up with threats by anyone, FTD or pre-FTD. NAFW - gave her a pregnancy pass. In fact, I took my old friend Howard Aaron's years old advice and brought them a bottle of wine. They didn't take it. Don't drink. Still in my cabinet. Hey, we live in an apartment complex, walls are thin. There are many various noise complaints. I hear her dogs barking, I don't complain. 

3pm in my birthday suit, "Pound, Pound, Pound". No knocking, pounding. Knew it wasn't her husband. He's wasn't aggressive, could only be her. Pound, Pound, Pound. Stared at the door. No fucking way was I going to open that door and FTD a crazed 8 month pregnant woman. No Fucking Way. "Do Not Engage". Went back to my computer. In a few months when the baby is teething and crying in the middle of the night, what am I going to do. Pound, pound, pound and tell her to duct tape the kid? No, I'm going to deal with it. Community living. Big country, they can move. See, I'm doing well in the control department. I was going to write they can move the fuck out. Instead, they can move. Kudos to me and FTD. 

I did leave 10 minutes later. Hey, she's pregnant and I'm not a total asshole. As I passed her door, I'm projecting,"don't open".


Went to Starbucks without my proper rest. Usually head out for round "2" around much later. Yea, yea, yea I'm getting my FTD shit together. In/out, active, rest, active, rest. Keep up routine. Keep away that pesky parasite depression. Don't isolate. I'm alone and will not fail.

At Starbucks I met a tenured ASU business professor and one of his ex-grad students. He was originally from NYC a million years ago. Wanted to ask his advise on interns and do my FTD thing. I have many projects going and can use a students or someones help. I'd be so much more productive.  Didn't realized how exhausted and what a mess I was. Stammered and bumbled through everything. The ex-grad student almost looked scared. In fact, she did. I could see he got it, but was feeling sorry for me and just being polite. Of course when I mentioned my Forbes article he immediately was back into and focused on my computer to read it. He was a nice guy, but I felt I totally blew it which was a first. Guess not a first. Selective memory impairment LOL.

Met a new doctor this week. Did everything I advise people not to do when choosing a doctor. He was an arrogant, condescending asshole. Yep, fired his ass. Will be writing more about this next. 

Writing this blog is a tremendous amount of work for me. When I'm done, I'm totally exhausted usually till the next day. My commitment to Howard Glick and you was to get into a routine when I moved to AZ of 2 or 3 quality blogs a week and do not deviate or fail. My blog has been my base for all my work. I haven't deviated. Though yesterday's encounter with the business professor really was upsetting, I've already brushed it aside. It's another beautiful Arizona day out. Am at Starbucks making my plan for the day. I'm going to head to Walmart, exchange garbage pails yet again and buy AAA batteries. After I shall hang out at Chop Shop, have a healthy fucking salad, sit and watch God's beautiful creatures go by. You want to enjoy life, you have to make it happen. 

Howard Glick - Living and loving life in Beautiful Scottsdale, AZ. Have dropped 12 pounds. Yes, I see the greens between my teeth LOL.

Howard

FTD and Handicap License

When I first got diagnosed 3 years ago in NYC they sent me to social services to get help. The place I was sent to by NY Hospital was filled with drug addicts etc. I met with a shrink and told him I had FTD. Told me there was nothing they could do for me. He confided if I was a drug addict or had Aids there was plenty of help, but not for what I have. Told him I was going to go back to the waiting room, cop some dope and get high so I could get some help. He turned stone face. Then I smiled and he realized I was kidding.  Point made, I left. One of the reasons I'm an FTD advocate and started the FTD Patient Support Group.

Howard


Someone asked me if I want to get food delivery like I had in NYC. Wow, I'm so far removed from GLWD - God's Love We Deliver. They were exactly what I needed then. Not now, I'll fend for myself. I appreciate the wonderful services of GLWD I've had in the past and what they do for others, I don't need that now. I'm in a different place. I've lost 12 pounds since I left NYC. Feel great and have another 45 lbs to go.

One good milk, one sour. Didn't realize the old milk was bad till I bought the new one. Tasted the difference with morning cheerios and my stomach cramps and runs went away. Thought I had a mild stomach virus. Bought blue cheese for salad. Threw the salad out last week because it went bad. Didn't have dressing. Now have dressing and no salad. No salad because I couldn't decide what to buy at the store. What a screwball FTD life I'm living. Have 2 hot peppers in the fridge. For my cheap, heaven tasting Mexican. Only problem is I'm busting my ass trying to eat healthy so Mex is 86'ed. Peppers going bad.

I'm smiling more now than I have in years. FTD can hang out, but Howard rules. People have been engaging me more frequently now. My energy is more positive like it used to be and people are attracted to it. (greedy parasites) 

Hey I've cheerios and milk. Sometimes for both breakfast and dinner. If I can't decide on dinner, cheerios. Probably 10 cents a meal. Better than pizza. Eating salads at the Chop Shop and feeling healthy.

Spoke with the filmmaker of Howard's Brain, It is what it is and West Wing yesterday. We've filmed over 250+ hours in close to 2 years. 4-5 terabytes. I asked him if he noticed a difference in me since we began filming. Joe Becker has been following me on film like a reality show. He told me he has seen a significant decline in me since we started filming.. That was a bit of a shocker. I know I've taken a bit hit with the move but, but, but.... Big fucking deal, so what. I'm living and loving life. It's my life, my choices. Baby, I've got a long way to go. This ain't no Wizard of Oz, "Help me I'm melting." This is Howard Glick FTD. Yes, I'm breaking down, but I will continue to smash barriers, overcome and flobbigate for many a year to come. 

My FTD Brain is taking in a whole new city, apartment, way of life, desert weather, roads, restaurants, docs. Point is my brain is working overtime and I'm tired quicker. I'm tired now. Yet I stick to my fucking guns, get out, blog, don't isolate myself and get my FTD shit done. Stuff is slipping but my core stuff that needs to get done for me to be me, is getting done.

Things are really rough for me, but I love the life I have and I'm going to continue to live it my way. Am I burning myself out? If so, this is the way to go. Out in flames baby!

I've met more cops here than my whole life put together. I've heard nightmare stories about Scottsdale's Police Force. Totally untrue. Then again, I'm one of the good guys.

Was in Starbucks and a cop came in and asked out loud if someone owned the Mini Cooper outside. Raised my hand. Guilty as charged. Turned out I forgot to hang my blue disabled placard on the rear view mirror. I told him I've a rare form of dementia FTD with some memory impairment. Told him I also forgot to put the sticker on my plate and threw it out by accident. We talked for almost a half hour (me 90%) . Another FTD Awarebee created. He was really attentive and actually took some notes to look up on line (made my day, awareness slut that I am). The usual, Googling Howard FTD gets him to "Howard's Brain trailer", Blog, Forbes and the rest of the shit. ****** One of the Starbucks workers just came to my chair and she gave my head a big hug. Life is fucking beautiful ***** The cop was so nice, forgot his name. Anyone says anything bad about Scottsdale PD, I'll FTD there ass. He gathered all my papers, blue placard, wrote something down and suggested I go to DMV 5 minutes down the road. 

Arrived at DMV with all the crap in my hands and went to the desk. Information screening desk had the usual line. I expected the 1 hour plus wait after I got a number. Got to information lady and gave her all the junk. Told her I need a new sticker and placard. She gave me a number and continued to go through the shit the cop organized. She then asked me for my number back. She then gave me a new number. Okay, whatever. At DMV I'm in NAFW (Not A Fucking Word) mode. Especially after my Homeland Security DMV ordeal. I sat and one minute later they called my number to go to Station "2". I literally just sat down. Everyone seated around me stared. I stood up with my shit, smiled and said, "FTD".

Arrived at station "2". Lady 2 took all the paperwork. I tried to explain, FTD rare dementia, memory and forgetting Blue Hanger blah, blah. Not looking up she put her hand up in a halt (shut the fuck up) sign - NAFW. She had all these little pins on a lanyard around her neck. Of course I was looking at the pins when her eyes snapped up. Shit, "I was looking at the pins" then said, "as well".  Busted and a dead I thought, sheepish look on my FTD laden face. She smiled and said she didn't have any jewelry so she decorated with pins. We talked 'pins' for a little while and "2" put her head down. A couple of minutes later to my surprise she put a new plate in front of me. Clang. Thought I was getting a new Blue Hanger and Plate Sticker. It had a wheelchair symbol on the license plate. I was in shock. I declared, "Handicap Plate, do I need that". She raised her eyebrows. "You need that" "2" declared". NAFW! Deep breath by Howard FTD. Here are Arizona blue placards for when your in other cars, showed me a new sticker for the plate and all the other paperwork. Spoke parting pin trinket words and I left in shock. Handicap plates, but I'm not handicapped, I've FTD. Staring at it on the way to the car I was nodding saying under my breath yea, yea, yea. 

Reality to my "aware that I'm unaware self".  FTD'ed myself. Yes, I need it. I still will park in a normal spot if there's one next to the front of where I am or next to the handicap spot. There are people with mobility problems. Me, well I have FTD and yes, I am unfortunately disabled.

BTW - A Starbuckee asked for a ride in my Mini. Drove around for about 10 minutes. Loved it and told me I was an amazing driver how I handled the stick and turns. Love that car and drive 3 mph under the speed limit at all times. Advice from another of Scottsdale's Finest. 

Howard

Chophouse

*Couple of days ago I received a refund from NYS for overpayment of medicaid. Go figure. Anyway, decided to celebrate by having a steak. Last time I had a steak was over a year ago. A friend, Diana took me out to a fancy steakhouse in NYC.

Now I haven't had a slice of pizza since I moved to Arizona and I'm doing pretty good. Except of course for the cheap ass Mexican food that's the best in the world. I have lost 9 pounds. Was walking up the stairs to my apartment with bags the other day and my jeans slipped halfway down my butt. Not into the ghetto style, but was smiling. Weight and pants going down. Only have 2 pairs of jeans. Have plenty of nice clothes and my death suit, but I need to drop another 20-30lbs. I'm really hoping to get out of Walrus state. One inspirational FTD'er friend from my group lost 25lbs in a month. Mind over matter. Put your shrinking FTD mind into it and the body matter goes away.

FTD is a war. Your constantly battling yourself, society, your friends and family. It never ends. Your never really sure about yourself and you know it's only going to get worse. Many caregivers and others ask why we frequently go silent. It's because we're not following the conversation or what's going on around us. We're slipping and we know it. I'm sure there isn't a caregiver out there that isn't stumped why all of a sudden there FTD loved one is jabbering off in a non-stop incessant rant to a doctor or a stranger but goes silent when around them. How hurtful. Does my loved one not love me or care anymore? 

I'm aware that I don't care - MM

Most personalize it, but few get it. We FTD'ers have changed and are continuing to change. The way we our brain operates has changed. The way we act, think, talk and see the world is different. Most of us know there's something wrong with us. We're just don't what. Yet our loved ones look at us and our cuckoo behavior and know we're off the wall. The FTD'er  looks at there loved ones and know they don't get FTD or you. You don't follow them and they don't understand who you are, where you've gone and why you can't come back. How can you explain that you care, but just no longer think about caring or care about thinking about caring. Now I force myself to think about caring by forcing myself to say thank you a million times a day. To force myself to ask whom I'm with how there doing? To force myself to be/seem interested. To be just as gracious to someone who sends me $5 as $100. I fight like hell.

I want to be, therefore I am. 
I care, I love. 


Much of the time I feel like I'm watching TV when I'm with or around people. I'm on the outside looking in. Just sort of an observer and not really part of it. Little patience left for most and the bullshit of daily life. Don't want the smalltalk, just give me my F coffee and let me do my work.

You want to hear crazy. It's rare to find an FTD'er among us who doesn't think each week they can go back to work and resume a normal job and life. Spoke to an FTD'er friend yesterday who heard of a teaching job opening. Decided to go back to work. Then saw the application. Oops, couldn't fill it out, FTD. I'm up 21 hours a day and do nothing but eat, think and breathe FTD. I know exactly what I have and what I'm facing yet I constantly think I can return to work in some capacity. FTD is so "not real" to the people that have it. Yet it's very real and we need to isolate ourselves from our loved ones because they "know", yet most don't know. FTD is actually quite simple. FTD is losing your mind to an awful disease. We slip, rewire and gain back a bit. Slip some more, regain a bit back. On and on it goes.  Some faster than others, but the outcome is the same to every FTD'er.

For me personally, FTD sucks. I know I'm losing it bit by bit. I haven't isolated myself here in Arizona, but I'm very cautious. I know no one. It's now 9:24am and I'm getting fuzzy. My brain production is over till tomorrow. Heading soon to meet with an FTD'er and loved one. I'll pop back to life for a couple of hours like I always do, but it takes a lot out of me. To me the boxing match is never over. I've always one last fucking round left in me no matter what. Ain't no fat lady singing in my world.

The above was my typical FTD rant. FTD'ers express in different ways. My rants also come out in my writing as a way of creativity. I've never written before this blog in my life. Never took a college writing course. Never wrote for fun. Some say I'm pretty good. Spoke to a wonderful lady in Minnesota yesterday who has FTD and isn't crazy. She wakes up at 3am and writes poetry. Another started painting last year and her artwork is in galleries. UCSF has a program for FTD'ers and explores why many all of a sudden have creative talents that come out.

Here I go. Back to writing. FTD tired, confused sitting here at Starbucks in Arizona checking out amazing woman, living and loving life. My FTD hypersexuality is back and sexual inappropriate remarks are begining to flow again. I never say anything crude or disgusting. Just borderline or slightly crossed the border inappropriate jokes or comments. This woman across from me at Starbucks had a fairly big and colorful tattoo on her leg. A few inches of it was exposed from her pant leg. I couldn't stop checking it or her out. It was driving me crazy that I couldn't see the whole thing. Told her I couldn't do my work because I keep checking out her and her tattoo. Told her she had to show me the whole thing, no matter how much of her had to be disclosed. Hey, I had to work and she was distracting me I told her. She laughed and complied. It was a lovely large band with butterflies and roses. When she left she stopped in front of me, flashed a brilliant smile and huge goodbye. What the hell, made my day. 

Really couldn't care less about my exhaustion. Just a different feeling. Annoying bit of a weird headache, but the hell with that to.

*Scouted out a Steakhouse in Old Town Scottsdale by driving around. Old Town is really cool. It's the old west with old cowboy bars etc. I circled in an indecisive FTD'ness for a while and there it was. Appeared to me like Vegas out of the desert. "Chophouse" Perfect. Looked like a subtle, non-pretencious place to sit my carnivorous ass and chow down. I also knew that this would probably be the last steak for years. Economics and health.

Yes, parked the car and went in. Stood looking up at the big food board. It wasn't registering. I just didn't get it. Huh, nothing but chopped salads and juices. WTF - "Chophouse" was a fucking chopped salad and juice bar. I started looking around. The restaurant was full. It was 90% full of incredible woman in yoga/gym outfits. One more beautiful than the other. Took a deep breath and thought, "Devine intervention". Okay, I need and should eat healthy. The prices were salad type. The big juicy steak sleazed out of my mind. I looked at the pretty young girl behind the counter. Enquired to whether they had WiFi. Yes, they had free internet. Healthy cheap food, internet, great people watching. I was home. Screw the steak. The hell with the carbs. There is a God.

Chophouse while slow

Have now been to "Chophouse" a few times. Outdoor and indoor seating. Can film "Howard's Brain" there to. Wide open and less noisy than Starbucks. The staff is absolutely wonderful. Told them I'm moving in. Young, vibrant enthusiastic and caring. Plus they do there jobs and are good at it. Place is well managed and run. Huge variety of salads and there great. All sorts of juices, haven't tried them and won't. Luxury item. I'm a budget tap water sort of guy. Staff not yet well versed on FTD, but I'll convert them. Now I just need not to blow it. 

Have had a couple of complaints about the unrefined language used in my blog. I sincerely apologize to those offended, even though I truly don't give a shit.

Howard

FTD Patient Story: Kevin Smiley

This is the first of a once a month series featuring members of the FTD Patient Support Group. The group is a diverse, extremely talented group of exceptional people whose lives and families have been decimated by FTD. The purpose of this series it to create further awareness and understanding of FTD. It's also a testament to the human spirit of how those that have lost so much and are losing the element of our existance, our minds continue on with life. Members strive to live a life of purpose and happiness while there lives are unexpectedly and inexplicably curtailed.  The FTD Patient Support Group has 70+ members from 10+ countries. Ages range from 20's-60's. Members live alone, with families or in Assisted Living. 

Howard Glick

Our first feature is Kevin Smiley. Kevin currently resides in North Augusta, SC. His profession at time of diagnosis was Director of Information (IT) (Networking and Communications) at Georgia Regents University (Hospital & Clinics), Georgia's Academic Medical Center.  

I am honored to call Kevin my friend.

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The Mid-Summers Day My Families Life Changed - By Kevin E. Smiley



It was four years ago in a mid summers day when my wife and I had learned that our lives were going to change forever.  That nothing as we knew it would ever be the same, a change so momumental that it would change the very fabric of how we approach the rest of our lives, and the impact on the children would be just as extreme.  We had five children combined and two grandchildren at that time.

I remember those days when my life was going extremely well.  I had a fantasic job, one that I enjoyed getting up and heading to work.  One that provided a life style that my family had grown into over the years.  We weren't rich, but we were comfortable.  We had the big house, big pool, cars, and were able to invest money.  We could take trips, cruises, and other various fun things that life had to offer. Within a matter of one phone call, it all changed forever.

I guess it started showing it's ugly head probably a year or two before.  This is what my wife (Debbie) has told me.  You see I had been having personality changes, changes that were for the worse.  Changes that would interfer with my family, my children, my wife, and everything in life.  I had gone from a happy, loving, compassionate person to a short tempered, mean, condensending, anxious, horrible man. I had gone from caring and loving my family to not showing any compassion or love.  Yes, I loved my family but I had lost the ability to show them and tell them.  I had gone from a great boss, to a boss that would cuss my employees out, being argumentative in meetings with other executives and customers.

Debbie had noticed it for a long time, but she thought I was just turning into a grumpy old man.  However, when it was brought to her attention at work on how I was behaving she encouraged me to go seek help.  Ironically, I was working on a friends rental property at the same time and a air conditioning vent had fallen and hit me in the head.  I was always having headaches, but with a hit to the head like this warranted a brain scan to make sure no damage was done.

The brain scan showed deteriation of both sides of the temporal and frontal lobes of the brain, which was not caused by the vent hitting me in the head.  My neurologist decided that this would warrant further research.  So, I forget how long it was but within a few weeks I had a spinal tap, MRI, CT Scan, and PET Scan of my brain.  I also had a neuropsych test too, which my neurologist said at the time it doesn't prove anything.  The results of all the test were returned to my neurologist within in about a week or two.

What people don't understand is that even though everyone else tells you that you are acting differently, you don't believe them.  As far as your concerned nothing is wrong.  This is the way that I had felt during this time and still do on most days.

During the waiting period on getting the offical diagnosis I decided that I would start doing research on my own.  I was in search of what could be causing all these problems that everyone was saying I had, but I didn't see.  After many hours spent on research, I had quitely decided that it was Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD).

I don't remember the exact day it was determined by my neurologist that it was FTD, but I think it was around my birthday in April 2009.  Here I was 46 years old, almost 10 years into a great career with the goal of retiring at 65.  I had served my country in the enlisted ranks of military from 1985-1992, served in the Persian Gulf War, had gone to college off an on and achieved what I thought was success at an early age.  My family was the greatest and my wife still loved me as mush as the day we married.

After I received the news from my neurologist we were devistated.  What did this mean, how would we proceeed, what was the treatment plan, is it cureable, will I continue to work, what does this mean for my family, will I die?  All, are very legitimate questions when given a diagnosis like this.

I'm going to tell you that it was pure "hell".

I was a Christian who thought for a brief moment that God had forgotten me.  That soon changed!

With my neurologist help we decided that best plan would be to go ahead and medically retire from work.  There went the job I loved, there went the income, there went our life as we knew it. You see this disease feeds off of stress!  You can imagine having all this happen the amount of stress this would cause. We will say so much pressure I had a couple seizures because of stress, once in a executive meeting, and once at my mothers house.  That was enough for me to agree and retire.  So, in July 2009 I officially retired.  I had invested in Short term and Long term disability with the company I worked for, which was the first blessing.  I was quickly approved for SSDI, thanks to my neurologist and her handling of the claim.

After I left my job it was believed that I might live between 1-2 years.  This lead to my wife leaving her executive level job and income behind.  Wow, my income down, loss of her income gone, to stay at home with me.  We decided to sale are house and get rid of any extra bills we had at that time.  We had one child in college and in 2 years onther starting.  We had to make plans.

As you can see are lives changed dramatically.

It has been four years now and I am still kicking.  My wife is back at work, I have four grandchildren, one just graduated college, another is in her second year and going to nursing school.  The other three children have gone on to own their own lives and provide for themselves. We struggle every day with things that I do and forget to do, but all is fine.  I take several medications to control my behavior.  I can become very anxious and mean quickly.  I don't like going in large crowds of people because it makes me very stressed.  It's like being put in a room full of people having different conversations and asked to listen to just one.  I get confused easily, I often do the same thing over and over.  I like watching the same tv shows over and over.  Life is totally different and sometimes very uncomfortable.  I sleep probably 12-14 hours a day, and have gained about 60 pounds.  This is all part of being a FTD'er....

If you remember above I stated that for a "brief moment I thought God had forgotten me".  Well He hasn't!  He has given me the right doctors, the right will, the right fight, the right family, the right friends, to keep going.  I believe that God has helped me because I refucosed my attention on Him.  Things aren't the same, I have difficulty with a multitude of things in my life.  I can never work again, but what I can do is be an inspiration to others who are going through difficult times like this.  I have accepted my path and what the plan is.  I would not ever wish this disease on my worse enemy, because it is a theif of the most important things.  But, I praise God for  waking me up to whats important.

I want to share some of the symptoms that lead to this diagnosis:

Obsessive,Nervous,Lowtolerance,Heat,intolerance,UNEMOTIONAL,ANXIETY,Hypochondria,APATHY,Aspontaneity,Inflexibility,DISORGANIZATION,INATTENTION,LOSS OF INSIGHT Irritability,IMPULSIVE,POOR JUDGEMENT,PARANOIA,COGNITIVE CHANGES,WITHDRAWAL FROM FAMILY/FRIENDS/SOCIETY,Critical of others Misnaming,Expressing extreme opinions in public,IRRATIONAL PURCHASES,Mood changes,Dangerous driving/accidents,FALSE MEMORIES
Losing/slurring speech,DISINTEREST,SLEEPING MORE OR LESS,LACK OF AWARENESS,LOSS OF LOGIC,HOARDING,Road rage
INCREASED APPETITE FOR SWEETS,CHANGE OF PERSONALITY,Lack of responsibility,DEPRESSION,Interest in porn
Ringing in ears,Layering clothes,Selfish,Angry/violent,PACING,Difficulty concentrating,Less eye contact,MEMORY LAPSES
Lying,Losing items,Losing track of time,DANGEROUS BEHAVIOR TOWARDS CHILDREN,ODD BEHAVIORS,Cruelty,No motivation
LAZINESS,Blaming others for own mistakes,Not finishing projects,CARELESS WITH MONEY,SHOPPING COMPULSIVELY
Flirting,Hurtful towards others,INABILITY TO FOCUS ON JOBS,Rigid thinking,Wringing hands,Swearing
Hyper-religious,Impatient,Irrational jealousy,Sex obsession in non-sexual situations,High sex drive
Repetitive reading/listening/watching,EASILY DISTRACTED,LACK OF AFFECTION,Childishness,Kleptomania,Hostility,Sarcasm

I personally have experienced about 90% of the above according to my wife and my own assessment.  Physicians believe and will tell you that you probably are not aware you are doing some of the above.  However, I believe they are wrong with that theory.  I believe you are more aware in the early onset of FTD. Maybe, you dont know when you progress into other stages of the disease.  I think you lose the ability to control, but are very aware.  I have seen this in my self.

After four years of walking down this unknown path of FTD, it occurs to me just how little is known about this disease.  I believe that it is the job of us who have it to bring about awareness and understanding to the world.  I think the hardest part of this disease is the lack of emotion you have.  I remember when my last two grandchildren were born I was happy, thrilled, but had no emotions.  My mother died in September 2012, I had no emotions, no crying, no outward display of sadness, just flat with emotions.  I felt extemely sad but just couldn't show the emotions.

This is; "That mid-summers day when my families life changed".

Howard started this blog and has allowed us to provide our stories on this walk.

Thank You Howard,

Kevin E. Smiley
If you would like to write me and ask questions, please send emails to: ksmiley63@gmail.com


* I run a private FTD Patient Support Group on Facebook. It is open to those with a firm FTD diagnosis. The support group is a place where those with FTD can gather in a positive environment and realize there not alone. It's also a source of accurate information which is rare in the quick changing world of FTD. Please email me at howardglickftd@gmail.com to join.

Howard

Moving Forward

* I run a private FTD Patient Support Group on Facebook. It is open to those with a firm FTD diagnosis. The support group is a place where those with FTD can gather in a positive environment and realize there not alone. It's also a source of accurate information which is rare in the quick changing world of FTD. Please email me at howardglickftd@gmail.com to join.

The FTD Patient Support Group has given immeasurable support to many. Through the group many have been able to find and receive better medical support,  friendship and a comfort of knowing there not alone with FTD. Many have met group members at get togethers outside the group.

*First a follow up to my Homeland Security/New York State DMV issue. Brief refresher: Tried to swap my NYS drivers license for an Arizona drivers license. I was deemed "Not Eligible" for another license. Thought I was being KO'ed for having FTD. Instead it turned out I was tagged and investigated by Homeland Security because I was moving to a new state and requesting a new drivers license. They found an uninsured vehicle accident in 1978 while I was in college. 35 years later Homeland Security gave the information to NY DMV who extorted $300 in a certified check or no Arizona drivers license. To me $300 is a lot of money. Yesterday, I received the return receipt that they received the check. There was also an envelope from City of New York, Human Resources. Great, now what? Yin Yang, Karma whatever. A check from NYC for $1092.23 to me for overcharging me on Medicaid years ago.  There is a God.

This story may not be totally over. I was told it would take 6-8 weeks for me to be cleared off the Homeland Security/NYS DMV "Not Eligible" list and be approved to receive an Arizona license. Arizona law requires you get an Arizona license within 30 days of moving to the state. Of course with my luck, nothing will happen :-)

Have been in Scottsdale, AZ for about 3 weeks. Life is tough but I'm having a good time. There is no question I took a hit with the "move" etc. I lost a bit to FTD. That's fine. I'm not looking back. I'll keep forging ahead "SD" without regret or remorse. My loose plan was get here and get immediately into a routine. Routine, routine, routine. Been pushing it as the single most thing an FTD'er can do for themselves. Easier said than done with the FTD tug of war. In fact, in a writing last week an FTD'er stated they couldn't get out of bed. I wrote Routine, Routine, Routine from my bed at 4pm. Well as I've said before, FTD can hang out but I'm in charge. My plan upon arriving in Arizona was to write a blog a couple of times a week no matter what. Morning/Starbucks/Write. Besides the blog there's plenty in FTD world to stay on top of. I needed a good start. Also wanted to go to the gym regularly. One for to ain't bad.

I'm really happy to say I nailed it. Yes, I'm FTD screwed but I'm going to make it here. Many thought I wouldn't. I want to thank everyone out there that has supporting me throughout this venture. Simply couldn't have done it without your support.

This blog set a record with 8,208 visitors for the month of August. What this means in real life is a lot of FTD awareness. FTD awareness and advocacy is what I've dedicated my life to, so I wanted to share this success.

Upon hearing this, my friend Sharon Denny of AFTD pulled out my original mailer that I did 2 years ago when I started this awareness journey. I never even heard of AFTD. In fact, the mailer was sent to there old address ftd-picks.org  

To: info@ftd-picks.org
Subject: Website submission from Howard Glick

Website contact submission (form: "Contact Us") ============================================

Submitted on: July 21, 2011

Via: http://www.theaftd.org/about/contact

By 64.134.45.40 (visitor IP).

Message:                     

I was diagnosed with FTD last year after being misdiagnosed as being bipolar for 6 years. I have spent the last year in support groups and have done a drastic life style change to try and slow down the diseases progression as well as learn to live, be happy and have purpose in life.

I started a dementia support blog to help people with ftd, dementia's, as well as a resource to caregivers, friends, and the medical community. about 8 days ago and have so far written 4 articles. I have had over 200 visits and members now include the coordinator of early services for the Alzheimer's Association, my neurologist, friends, my support group members, family members of people with ftd dementia like myself and anyone that want to learn first hand what living with dementia is like.

Please visit my blog and feel free to contact me and/or advertise it as a resource.

http://earlydementiasupport.blogspot.com/

Sincerely,

Howard Glick

*** I will no longer be participating on Linkedin. Due to diminishing skills, I've lost the capacity to use it and haven't been able to relearn. Drop what you can't do, move forward with what you can do. Don't look back, don't stop. 

Was going to write a few other things, but I can't. Next blog will be: FTD Progression and Lifespan.

Howard

I just moved to Arizona. Any help in the way of Gift Certificates: Target, Costco, Walmart, Starbucks etc. or checks would be deeply appreciated. Or if you just want to write me a letter or a note, that would be nice. All letters with or without donation will be responded to. I am not starving, but can use some help. Those who can help, that would be appreciated. There's also a donation button on top right of this page. 


Howard Glick
7791 East Osborn Rd. Apt. 170E
Scottsdale, AZ 85251

FTD and rewiring the brain

* I run a private FTD Patient Support Group on Facebook. It is open to those with a firm FTD diagnosis. The support group is a place where those with FTD can gather in a positive environment and realize there not alone. It's also a source of accurate information which is rare in the quick changing world of FTD. Please email me at howardglickftd@gmail.com to join.

The FTD Patient Support Group has given immeasurable support to many. Through the group many have been able to find and receive better medical support,  friendship and a comfort of knowing there not alone with FTD. Many have met group members at get togethers outside the group.

A new segment will be added to the blog in September. This will be a feature article about one of the FTD'ers from the FTD Patient Support Group. The group has some incredibly amazing people from all walks of life that will be telling there stories. Each person and situation different. From those living with family, alone to those in Assisted Living at age 40 or 50. Courageous people living a life that's slipping away, yet refusing to give up and make the most of there lives. The FTD Patient Support Group has over 70 members from 10+ countries. We all share the same unfortunate common bond, FTD. The same disease that is stripping the essence of life, our brain is bringing us together to fight to keep our lives going in a happy, productive way.  

The purpose is to give family, friends and the public a view and better understanding of FTD and those inflicted with it.

The first feature FTD group member article will appear next week. 

Lost it this morning. I've been receiving calls each morning from 6:30 on lately. Recordings and hangups. Decided to call back through my caller ID. Turned out they were all from United Health. Of course they were sales calls. Of course they assured me they weren't selling anything. They could get me goods and services for free. Suuuurrrre, an insurance company making call after call to give away free services. The new not-for-profit insurance company. Somewhere over the rainbow. Of course after probing it turned out they could get me goods and services for free and bill the United States through loopholes. Guess it's not called profits when you can weasel money from Uncle Sam. In other words, increase the insurance companies profits and compile the national debt which will harm our children and grandchildren. But it won't cost me anything. 

Funny, I ranted and used language unbecoming to take me off there "not sales" call lists. Didn't care what they called there calls to justify calling me. Just take me off the F list and don't call me. 

Have been really trying to keep my language and behavior under control. Much of the confusion I've been experiencing since the move has yet to subside. Keep waiting for my brain to rewire and give me the time I need. Yes, the brain is a fighter. As we lose our brain to FTD, it keeps looking for outlets to rewire.  The brain does rewire. That's why we keep losing and regaining. Sort of drives caregivers and everyone else crazy. Once acceptance of losing a skill or action settles in, boom: the FTD'er is back acting or regaining what was thought lost. Many a time I hear of someone not talking or wheelchair bound. Without warning there talking or walking, sometimes after years of being docile. How long this fight goes on is different with each person. The brain is the most complicated part of the body. Medical science is in it's infancy of learning about the brain.

Feel like I've been pounded on for months. Have had less human contact, but more bureaucracy interaction. Need more rest, but I'm committed to doing what I can do while I can do it. I've a lot I want to accomplish. Picked up more memory cards so I can get back to filming "Howard's Brain" yesterday. Howard's Brain will use confusion and clarity or the brain at different moments. I'm deeply driven, just need some good old fashioned brain rewiring.

Howard

I just moved to Arizona. Any help in the way of Gift Certificates: Target, Costco, Walmart, Starbucks etc. or checks would be deeply appreciated. Or if you just want to write me a letter or a note, that would be nice. All letters with or without donation will be responded to. I am not starving, but can use some help. Those who can help, that would be appreciated. There's also a donation button on top right of this page. 


Howard Glick
7791 East Osborn Rd. Apt. 170E
Scottsdale, AZ 85251

Bankers and Cops

* I run a private FTD Patient Support Group on Facebook. It is open to those with a firm FTD diagnosis. The support group is a place where those with FTD can gather in a positive environment and realize there not alone. It's also a source of accurate information which is rare in the quick changing world of FTD. Please email me at howardglickftd@gmail.com to join.

I'm alone in a new city alone with FTD. No friends, virtually no support. Just me and a keen desire to have a few good years of happiness and productivity.

NYC vs. Scottsdale, Arizona
Some have contacted me concerned about the monsoons.

Monsoon = Thunderstorm
Lions, tiger and bears. Oh my.

I love it here. The biggest thing that helps me cope with my FTDness is getting away from the overstimulation of NYC. The noise, crowds, supermarkets, subway, ambulances, gun shots kept me on edge. Here in Scottsdale it is slower, quieter. The Starbucks is wide open and not crowded.

Cost of living is much less expensive. Me, I'm still frightened to spend money. I'm okay but have zero grasp on my finances and banking. All I know is I've really no one to lean on, so if I fail I'm finished. My expenses are a used car and life stuff.

I had great bank support with Chase in Manhattan. Everyone in the branch knew me, my difficulties with FTD and went out of there way to help me. Went into the Chase bank close to my new home. Asked for the Branch Manager. Within a minute I was flanked by 4 Chaser's. All four including the branch manager looked like they barely passed through puberty. Told them I was from NYC, just moved here and had special banking needs due to a rare brain disease. I told them my bank in NYC was extremely helpful. Well guess what? I was FTDed. The 4 Chaser's went into where they were from, there lives, how long they were Chaser's. One from Chicago, one leaving next month. Every 30 seconds they would boast how well they take care of each customer and it's all about customer. I couldn't get a word in except when they asked me if I was a Jets or Giants fan. Was there about 20 minutes putting up with there non-stop incessant blabbering about how great they are and how they can help me. Then they all thanked me for coming and told me they looked forward to my business and fled. The Chaser's were gone. I sat by myself surveying the scene. Not one of them asked me what my special banking needs nor if I wanted to open an account there. I didn't even get to discuss FTD. Was God or the Universe trying to tell me something. If so, I've no idea what. Yes, pun intended. They Chase'd me out. I'll never walk in that Chase branch again.

Thank God for my friend Diana. Diana said find a bank by a comfortable restaurant or place you like to go. Well, right across the street was my new favorite Mexican restaurant which had 99 cent tacos. All was not lost. A happy ending. Like everything else the bank stuff will get done and be settled in the end.

Having FTD or any type of dementia is losing life skills. Things come and go. The need to relearn things is constant. Sometimes you can relearn and sometimes things are simply gone forever. I'm constantly trying to keep up with my FTD and find different ways to live with dementia and a dying mind. There simply aren't enough support groups and support for those with FTD. One reason I'm doing well is because of "Memory Club" which gave me the skills to live with early onset dementia. I also get tremendous support from the group I set up, "The FTD Patient Support Group". FTD is a wicked disease and absolutely no one has a crystal ball to how fast the progression and death will be, but I guarantee that with earlier, better support for the FTD'er. Everyone's life will be easier.

I've not had a blowout since I've moved here. A combination of being less overwhelmed and not around people that much. Am taking things slower with lots of rest time. Had a task to take on. Needed a new TV stand/entertainment center. Of course it comes in a million pieces and werghs over 100 pounds. Following directions and putting it together is not like the days of old or the days of beginner FTD dementia. I keep trying to adapt. Pre-FTD I'd whip it together without even looking at the manual.  With FTD/dementia the instructions make no sense and to try and follow the instructions would lead to a tantrum and me smashing things.

The stand was delivered and I let it sit there leaning against the wall for a couple of days. Secretly planning in my head how this was going to get done. First of all, "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong". Mentally, I'm prepared to having to do it over and over again. I will not flip out when I screw it up. I'll keep reversing until correct and then proceed. Big secret. Never, never screw in screws all the way till the very end. Yes, easy to write this shit ,but the end justifies the means. I'll arrange everything out on the floor in separate piles and put it together following the diagram, not the instructions. Follow the picture to see length and positioning. Use FTD certifiable GPS to make sure it is centered properly in the room.

My living room 

Miss my friends. Miss having really smart people around me. One of my friends in NY was perhaps the smartest person I've ever met. She'd keep in the loop with my FTDness and kept me from drifting toward's trouble or at least told me when I was in trouble and didn't know it.

Got a call from my NYC pharmacy yesterday. I'm late picking up my prescriptions. The hits just keep on coming. Went from my 99 cent Taco to Walmart. Planet Walmart is new to me. There are none in NYC. Walmart and it's Walmartian inhabitation is a strange, new FTDish experience. I go to stores in the middle of weekdays. Close to empty stores keeps my FTD anxiety at bay and I sometimes make it through without running out empty-handed or FTDing some poor soul. Gave the Pharmacy Walmartian my NYC refill info. He said something unintelligible about day or days. Thanked him profusely. Felt like I was in one of the, "Men in Black" movies. Got out while I could.

Met a really nice person a couple of times at Starbucks. We've sat and talked on her days off.   Besides normal banter and me deluging her with my non-stop FTD rant. She's is helping me with tips on local driving, bad local driver habits (running red lights)etc, dangerous intersections, laws etc. Her expertise is accident investigations. We talked about my FTD and driving. I told her of my precautions and many concerns with FTD/dementia drivers. From a law enforcement point of view, if I could follow the laws, then I've a right to drive. A real nice person with a serious, fun edge about her. Lisa is looking forward to retiring in May from the Scottsdale Police Department.

One day at a time. I'm slowly getting settled and each day get a bit more done. Cancelled my NYC Medicare Health plan and just got a new Arizona Medicare Health plan. Crisis management till open enrollment starts in October. Have to find docs. One day at a time. Lots of breaks. Doing Great!

Howard

I just moved to Arizona. Any help in the way of Gift Certificates: Target, Costco, Walmart, Starbucks etc. or checks would be deeply appreciated. Or if you just want to write me a letter or a note, that would be nice. I am not starving. Those who can help that would be appreciated. There's also a donation button on top right of this page.

Howard Glick
7791 East Osborn Rd. Apt. 170E
Scottsdale, AZ 85251

Sunday Morning

* I run a private FTD Patient Support Group on Facebook. It is open to those with a firm FTD diagnosis. The support group is a place where those with FTD can gather in a positive environment and realize there not alone. It's also a source of accurate information which is rare in the quick changing world of FTD. Please email me at howardglickftd@gmail.com to join.

Have been here in Arizona for less than 2 weeks. Love Scottsdale and hate FTD. I really don't like the me that's me anymore.

Speaking to my friend Marc last week he was telling me about the 3 Howard's. There was the Howard(1) pre-illness who was the Howard he grew up with since 5 years old. 40 years later at 45 the Howard he knew got sick. Quick and devastating, nobody knew what happened. Howard (2)  6+ years of up to 17 pills a day, 100 ECT's, in and out of hospitals, psych wards as well as experimental surgery. Marc and others thought I was gone forever. Then a suicide attempt, coma, 7 weeks in a psych ward being weeded off all the meds and what was left. Howard (3) or FTD Howard.

I feel like what's left is a shell of who I used to be. A year after FTD diagnosis everyone kept telling me I never talked about anyone but myself, never ask about anyone else, never say thank you. The woman I was seeing routinely got up and walked out on me after listening to tiresome rant of me and my life and never asking about her. Today, I make it a point to constantly be gracious, say thank you, ask others how they are and show appreciation for everything in life. Am I being a phony? Do I really care? Yes, I can honestly say that I think and care of others but just don't show it unless I prompt myself. Was discussing this with a fellow FTD'er a couple of weeks ago. She felt she was disregarding her husband and family. In the end, she realized she cared, just wasn't showing it in a normal sense.

FTD'ers and caregivers are drilled about apathy. We care, it's just a different type of caring. It also is difficult because often we're labeled by the medical community who of course can't be wrong. Keep eating pizza and you will get fat. As I said we still care and love, it's just shown differently.

Love, yes I love but it's different. Instead of heartfelt it's intellectual. It's no longer a bundle of feelings. I love a person for who and what they are.  What they do or strive to do.

Have been getting friendly with someone here in Scottsdale. Was going to ask her out on a date. In our latest conversation it was disclosed that she's in her senior year of college. Mid 20's, what the hell is wrong with me. Never even thought about her age. Knew she was youngish, but didn't care. My daughters age. FTD sucks.

Have been very low key since moving here. I can't help having FTD or it's progression, but I can fight like hell to accomplish what I want. My priority here is continuing this blog and my FTD advocacy/awareness work. That is getting done. Am gearing up to continue my book September 1st after a long hiatus. Have an editor for when it's done and have gotten excellent advise from friends. Everything's going to go into it and then at the end things can be taken out if need be.

I'm missing the support I had in NYC. Every day something happens that makes me realize and appreciate the help I had. My banking is a mess. I've absolutely no idea what I'm doing, what I have and how to set up payments or take care of accounts. My second priority this week is finding a banker to help me. Mathew, the VP of Chase used to help me so much in NYC. I totally admit I'm lost right now. Have no idea where I am financially, but know I've taken action and cut my expenses way down by leaving my home and moving to Arizona. Hey, what I'm doing may not always be rational, but I'm trying and it makes sense to me.

The first priority this week I can't remember right now, but it's important.

Ah, first priority this week is my health. Chest pains continue to get worse so I need to find a cardiologist & GP alined with a local hospital before I pop out. To much to accomplish to die right now. Have had a heart attack, 3 stents and cancer to accommodate my FTD. Might need a valve or lube job. *I've not had a slice of pizza since I entered the state of Arizona. Haven't even thought about that till now. Haven't been to the gym,nor eating right. No kudos for FTD Howard.

Thank you everyone who has sent me gift cards and checks. It is deeply appreciated. Received a beautiful letter along with a check from someone from Texas. Normally, I would send a "Howard's Brain" thank you card. Well, my box of "Howard's Brain" cards, stamps and postcards are gone. Another casualty of Uhaul.

Arizona ALFA - Assisted Living Federation of America has really stepped up and helped me with a new microwave, tools etc. Really grateful here. Thank you all so much.

Heading back to my apartment. 10:30am Arizona time and I'm done for the day. Wiped out. FTD sucks. Sorry if this blog isn't lucid. Just needed to write this morning and keep going. 

Howard


I just moved to Arizona. Any help in the way of Gift Certificates: Target, Costco, Walmart, Starbucks etc. or checks would be deeply appreciated. Or if you just want to write me a letter or a note, that would be nice. There's also a donation button on top right of this page.

Howard Glick
7791 East Osborn Rd. Apt. 170E
Scottsdale, AZ 85251

Drivers License "Not Eligible"

Found out yesterday that I was awarded a "Blog of the Year Award for 2013. Finished Number 8 out of 25 awarded. Thank you Healthline for bestowing that honor on me. I've been blessed to be able to forge on with this Blog, the FTD Patient Support Group I created and "Howard's Brain" documentary now filming.

Howard Glick's the name. FTD Awareness the Game

85,000 served and growing

FTD/Dementia Support Group

Frontotemporal dementia may be rare, but its effects are a major part of blogger Howard’s life. In his struggle to adapt to life with his condition, he gave the rest of the dementia community a wonderful gift: the FTD/Dementia Support Group.
This online support network is full of personal reflections and documentation of Howard’s attempt to lead by example. His belief that life is what he will make of it and his firm commitment to finding happiness and health despite his illness make this blog a must-read.

Healthline 25 Best Alzheimers Blogs

______________________________________________________

Driving and FTD.  Everyone has an opinion. Every state has different laws regarding driving and disabilities. I've always been an excellent driver and still am excellent driver even with FTD. I take my driving privilege seriously and take many precautions. Vehicle usage is to get to Starbucks and store shopping. I've also been driving in NYC for years since I was diagnosed without incident. My doc's know I drive. No ones thrilled, but they understand. I will make sure I have adequate support around me so when the time comes to hang up my keys, I will.

Went to the Phoenix DMV - Department of Motor Vehicles to get my NYC driving license switched over to an Arizona driving license. Having researched it, it seemed like a painless procedure. $10, no eye check or any other exam and then I would be entitled to an Arizona drivers license that would be good for 10 years or till I'm 65 years old. Of course I had to wait the obligatory 1 1/2 hours. Though I wasn't anticipating any problems, I seem to have a black FTD cloud hovering over me as said so eloquently said by an FTD'er friend of mine. Gave the clerk my birth certificate and ID.

One minute later the, "Houston we have a problem" look came my way. The DMV clerk asked me if I recently had my license suspended or revoked. DUI etc. New York State DMV had sent her the message, "Not Eligible" for a new license. She gave me the, you must know what's going on look. My thought, "I've been FTD'ed". How? Who? Clerk lady told me I needed to call NYS DMV and gave me the paper with the case number on it.

"Next" and I was gone. I stood there in shock flabbergasted. I called the NYS DMV number.
The recording:
Press 1 for suspensions and revocations
Press 2  for......
Press 3 for medical suspensions (vision), appeals.

 "Shit, FTD, I'm so Fucked"

Here I am in Arizona, state that prides itself on personal liberties. I can get a gun, but not a drivers license. Actually it's blocked by New York State so maybe I could go through the process of obtaining a license from scratch in AZ. My mind is racing a million miles a minute. 

The recording said the office was closed and was open Mon-Fri 8:30am -12:30pm.

Horror - I just got a car and moved to Scottsdale, AZ. Temperature outside 100-118 degrees every day. I need a car. What happened, was it a cabal of feeding frenzied caregivers from one of the support groups I belong to believing I shouldn't drive? One of the Power of Attorney's I fired who were against me driving? A rogue criminal who pretends to be people to mess up peoples lives who surfaces time to time to fuck me? Maybe a new covert unit of Government, the FTD Police out to coral rogue FTD'ers.

Hey, I understand irrational thought being partially brainless and having my own quips. I was in 2 major accidents because of people and there cell phones. Just like Mother's Against Drunk Driver's wants castration for DUI offenses, I want all cell communication jammed when the car engine goes on. 

Nothing I could do till the next morning so I took action and did the most logical thing I could think of. Got drunk off my ass. 

The next morning at 5:35am, 8:35am New York time I was toggling through the choices. After what felt like hours I got through to a sweet New Yorker. Took about 5 minutes for sweetness to look me up and said the good news was she couldn't help me. She dealt with revocations, suspensions and hard core cases. She didn't know what was up with me, but she'd transfer me. Okay, I'm thinking. Just a little FTD here. I'm so Fucked. 

Now I was transferred to an extremely official man. I was waiting to hear, "Mr. Howard Glick, this is Captain James T. Kirk and I'm here to inform you that your FTD run is over. As we speak your vehicle is being towed and impounded. Your license is permanently revoked and outside your door is an entourage. You will be escorted to a secure dementia facility for the remainder of your days". Hotel California. You can check in, but you can never leave.

In fact, that is as surreal as the reality that was about to happen. 

Mr. Official said, "Mr. Glick, you were flagged by Homeland Security. The investigation revealed a past impropriety.   

I'm Aware that I'm not Aware

Okay lets see if I can put this together. My severe anxiety attack and near heart failure for being deemed "Not Eligible" for an Arizona drivers license had nothing to do with me having FTD. It had to do with me being investigated by Homeland Security as a national security risk because I'm moving from New York to Arizona and am requesting an out of state license. That makes sense.

Mr. Official went on to explain Homeland Security is now monitoring people moving state to state and acquiring licenses. "Mr. Glick, you were flagged and a subsequent investigation revealed an  uninsured vehicle incident in 1978." 

35 years ago in 1978 I had a motorcycle accident on the NYS Thruway on the way to New England College. This is what all the fuss is about. (What - No FTD Police? No secure dementia facility?)
  

Israeli army. Lebanon 1982

Mr Official, "Mr. Glick, you'll have to pay a $300 fine by certified check to NYS DMV for the 1978 driving an uninsured vehicle infraction. It will take 6-8 weeks after payment is made and you'll be cleared by Homeland Security and NYS DMV to receive a new out of state Arizona license."

Who would ever believe the George Bush Patriot Act would ever be used for something other than catching bad guys. Thank God it isn't being used to go after a rogue FTD'er like me.

You can't make this shit up.

Howard

I just moved to Arizona. Any help in the way of Gift Certificates: Target, Costco, Walmart, Starbucks etc. or checks would be deeply appreciated. Or if you just want to write me a letter or a note, that would be nice.

Howard Glick
7791 East Osborn Rd. Apt. 170E
Scottsdale, AZ 85251