Sitting here in Starbucks I'm trying to out how to go through the brain liquefaction process without losing losing my mind. In recent months I've discovered that traveling for me just doesn't work anymore. Well, at least alone. Not only am I having to many issues on the road, it is so hard to get back into a routine when I return. As funny as it seems, the easiest part of traveling for me is the traveling itself. Traveling with someone is okay, but by myself I'm to wide open to issues.
Seems like I'm caught up in trying to find a life and lifestyle that works, while trying to pacify my ever changing partner FTD. I'm as outgoing and friendly as ever. I love intellectual and stimulating conversation. Yet I run into difficulties with the basics in communications with others in society. Had a stupid incident at my neighborhood supermarket I frequent daily and might've gotten myself banned. Over a month ago I ordered a simple chicken parmesan hero. When I got home it turned out to be a lemon chicken hero. I took a bite and then brought it back to the store. It was awful. The kid who made the sandwich realized it was a mistake and authorized a refund. Last night I was back at the supermarket and ordered a meatball parmesan hero from the same sandwich boy of the previous incident. There was a fair sized crowd and when I placed my order, he announced out loud that he would make it for me as long as I wouldn't return it. I said, "excuse me, what did you say to me"? He repeated it with sandwich boy bravado. Bad move. I realized I hadn't shut off the flashing Neon Light sign on my forehead which proclaimed, "Danger, FTD, Don't Mess with at your Own Risk". I told sandwich boy he already admitted a month ago he'd made a mistake with the sandwich and I didn't need to put up with his passive/aggressive BS now. He said he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to return it. There were a lot of people at the counter and this wasn't going to go well for sandwich boy or me. I asked him if I ever returned a sandwich before? He retorted no. I said to him, "I've been coming here for years and have never returned anything. Now I return one sandwich a month ago and bruise your sandwich boy ego and you need to try and humiliate me in front of all these people". He quickly moved to the end of the counter away from the crowd and signaled me to come down there to him. I told him out loud he started this BS in front of a crowd with his uncalled for remark and now that he's looking like an idiot he wants to take it to a quiet corner. I told him he should he should stop cowering and come back and make the damn sandwich. He wouldn't move. Everything was at a standstill with this Mexican standoff. The crowd, other employees, sandwich boy and me were silent and waiting for someone to make a move. Finally after about a minute I left. Not sure if I'm allowed back in Frank's supermarket. I think I need to start making a list of FTD No-Go places.
I need to lose weight, so getting banned might help me.
As much as I'm trying to lead a normal life, it's just not working. Friends invited me to go away for this holiday weekend, but I declined. I was going to but I haven't been doing well lately going away and I don't feel like camping. I'm not a snob, but I don't feel like sleeping in a tent with a dog that continually likes to snap at my ankles. Plus, I just really don't feel like going away. Guess It'll be a McBucks '181' weekend at the local Starbucks. I need to get back on track with filming and my book anyway. I've been unproductive lately and it's really difficult for me to live with myself this way.
Still looking to stabilize my path. All I can do is go one day at a time and what happened yesterday, was lifetimes ago.
Howard
JennyM has left a new comment on your post "Sandwich Boy":
ReplyDeleteHi Howard
well done - I can't see anything wrong in your response. It sounds to me like you did well in responding to unprovoked rudeness from a shop assistant. I'm not sure I'd have done anything differently. He was very rude. I hope you haven't been banned, but also hope you find a shop where you get better, more polite and proper service!
As for not going away - that sounds like a good idea given how you are feeling. Again - not wanting to go camping sounds sensible to me! If you're not feeling like it, better to stay home and conserve your energy than go if you felt doubtful about it. BUT am glad your friends asked you.
Shalom
Jenny M
Thank you Jenny.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jenny. I have do not have FTD and I would have reacted in the same way. I might have spoilt it by bursting into tears in the middle...the sandwich boy needs retraining. I expect you have heard about some regions in Britain where we are trying to set up "dementia friendly" communities where salespeople are made aware of how to behave if a customer may have dementia? Also there is at least one project which takes dementia training into schools so hopefully the next generation will not only be clued up but also will give better service. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that this is a dementia incident, I think you happen to have dementia and encountered an a-hole and didn't back down. Do you have any reason to think that you were actually banned, or are you just afraid as to what might happen when you go back in there? For all you know the boss might take your side on this. You don't speak to customers like that.
ReplyDeleteNo, this wasn't a dementia incident, but it was exasperated by FTD as usual. When he went to the other end of the counter to talk to me on the side. I started shouting at him from where I was with the crowd. He started it in front of the crowd and I wasn't going to let me off the hook. I look at these incidents and after they happen I ask myself, "would've this happened pre-FTD"? That's how I gage things.
DeleteHoward
sandwich boy should be fired and the owner of the shop should give you several free sandwiches...
ReplyDeleteThanks, but one thing FTD has done for me is give make me more compassionate. Sandwich Boy is young and his whole life in that supermarket is being an ace sandwich maker. My return was a blow to his ego so he made an underhanded remark. Pre-FTD I would've ignored him. I do like your gumption Anonymous and free sandwiches would work for me :-)
DeleteYou did well. I had a similar incident at the deli counter at my local Kroger's which ended up with the manger assuring me the staff would be getting some additional training. Pre-FTD I probably would have dragged his pimply butt right over the counter, but FTD has actually made me less emotional, and more mellow ...but with a short fuse. Lack of emotion, and lack of inertia balance the outbursts ...It is a precarious balance for me sometimes.
ReplyDeleteHi Lee,
DeleteGood to hear from you. I did act with a short fuse. Years ago I probably would've asked for the manager.
Hope your doing well.
Howard