You Up?

Did you just wake up? This is a question I repeatedly get from people on the street and on the phone. I just tell everyone yes. Life has me in a sort of in a fog and it shows. I've moved plenty in my life, both cross country and international. Nothing has rivaled the discombobulated ways of this move. All the usual plans and organizing needs to be done with me failing royally by normal standards. Yes, I've made lists of people to call, change of address, electricity, movers, phone, boxes, used cars etc, etc... Then money, budget and expenses..... Forget it, everything is just pieces of paper with redundant information on them. I keep writing them and find them everywhere. It's like the post it stage I went through years ago. Post it's everywhere and I realized after a long time I was never looking at them. I spend my days now wandering from room to room, loading half a box here, throwing out old stuff there. Came up with a moving Mantra, "When in doubt, throw it out". I wander back and forth room to room half the time just looking then back to my bedroom where I turn on the TV and lay down for a while. While laying down overwhelmed an epiphany arrives in my partial FTD'er brain. Call to cancel electric, boom done and another victory for this FTD'er. On and on it goes day after day. Does it get frustrating? Couldn't get my tape gun working so I smashed it into smithereens against the wall. Made me feel and sure showed that tape gun whose boss.  LOL. 

Hey, guess what? By FTD standards I'm kicking ass. Finished packing more than half my apartment, movers arranged, used car picked out and I believe I haven't dropped the ball in any big way.The calls are being made and it's all getting done. My friend David is arranging for a moving party, but it might be done by then. Going to miss my friends and NYC. It's time to go, but no one likes to be forced out. Last night I ran into a friend at the Supermarket. She asked me when I'm moving and when I'm moving in. I move out of my apartment July 30th and into my new digs August 14th. She asked when I'm going to Arizona and where I'll be staying in between. I've absolutely no fucking idea. Haven't thought that out or figured that out. It will come together. I will stay somewhere and I will wind up in Arizona by Aug. 14th. Lots of stuff falling through the cracks. Big deal, couldn't care less.

At the end of the rainbow lies Scottsdale, Arizona and a fresh start for me and my bud FTD. I'm going to make this work, failure is not an option in my mind. Was with someone not long ago that pointed out to me that this is how my life has been. My successful career was with an unknown Japanese technology company Riso. I was the first sales rep hired in NYC to sell an unknown product with an unknown technology from an unknown company to the toughest marketplace in the world. Year after year I was the number one rep. No matter what obstacles got in my way I kept going. Had that career for about 17 years and moved up to the top tiers of the organization. My friend told me I always found a way to get the job done no matter what. Loved what I was doing then and I love what I'm doing now.  

Difference is now I'm slowing losing my mind and it's tougher to regroup and find successful ways to get things done. Have filmed over 200 hours "Howard's Brain".  I have the memory SD Cards labeling 1-10. Not sure when that got mixed up but for a long time I just grab any card. Months ago I accidentally lost or erased a card, since then I told the filmmaker Joe Becker I'd be sending one card at a time because I can't keep track anymore. Now I'm recently back from Arizona and I don't know if I sent him that card, lost it or it's around. Then while packing I found 3 SD Cards in a CD case. Not sure if he has those or not. What does this all mean? I'm losing it and I know it. 

I'm hoping to get some help in Arizona in the way of an intern or something. I need help with "Howard's Brain" and other projects I'm working on. Hopefully I'll find some help and if not, well I will just keep going for as long as I can. 

Was in the pharmacy the other day. An old man cut in front of me as I was getting a BP script. I said, "Hey can't you see I'm here first and talking." He retorted nastily that he "called" in advance. I looked at the pharmacist and him and said, "This isn't a restaurant with reservations, it's a pharmacy, if you would've asked I would've let you ahead. Now, fuck you, you can wait till I'm done." Old man said, "you want fuck me, I'll go outside and pull down my pants." 

Well the pharmacist and counter people now had that here we go again look. I turned to them and suggested since they don't take reservations they start handing out Bakers tickets.

It went on and on with me telling he's lucky we're in a pharmacy and to tell counter people which lube he wants. Told him I don't do that so he needs to pick out a tool.........

Ugh, as I sit here writing I'm sighing and shaking my head. As usual, I'm aware that I'm unaware of my actions till after the fact. FTD.

9am. Time for pizza.
*Pizza was left over from last night when I was wandering from store to store not being able to figure what to eat. Went home and ordered Pizza as usual.

Howard