FTD and Cooking Fires

Last week I awoke mid-day to the smell of burning paper. No smoke, just a faint smell. Something was amiss.  I went to the kitchen to find my window fan on high and my friend Barbara, who was there earlier gone. I texted her asking if there was a fire. She replied that I had the God's Love We Deliver" meal in the oven and had the wrong setting on and the cardboard top burned. I wrote back "Oops".


Barbara of course was worried I would start a fire. I wrote back my fire prevention strategy. I told her that when I cook the oven timer is on and the oven goes off after a while. I also have a timer on my cell phone I use all the time. The problem isn't forgetting things as much as getting distracted. I get distracted so easily. If a timer goes off and I'm typing or doing something, poof-it's gone.


Like everyone with FTD/dementia, I try to develop a fail-safe end game strategy that works. I have a smoke detector which is not attached to the wall which is movable. When I'm cooking I place it on the kitchen table in my small kitchen. I then close the door tight so if my food accidentally starts to burn the small room quickly fills with oven smoke. In case all my strategies fail and my food starts to burn, my smoke alarm turns into an ear piercing get your ass in gear timer. 


When I cook a steak or hamburger, the smoke detector is my timer.


The screaming piercing wailing of the smoke detector timer has me in the smoke filled kitchen in an instant. I quickly shut the oven off and remove the screaming smoke detector from the kitchen and place it in the living room where it goes off fairly quickly. I'm then back in the kitchen opening the windows and turning on the venting fan. I keep the door closed so the smoke stays contained to the kitchen. I then check my precious meal which is always still edible. 


Food prepared and life goes on. 


To me, this is business as usual. FTD in action. To Barbara, she was hysterical laughing/horrified that I was using my smoke detector as a food timer. 


I explained to her it was all contained and just smokey, never a flame fire. She looked at me cross-eyed and told me we're going to Home Depot for a fire extinguisher just in case. 


I should start selling FTD certified smoke detectors.


Life as an FTD'er.


Howard