Moving with FTD

Amazing what one day can do. It's a good thing I'm losing my mind or I'd think I was going crazy. Yesterday I was writing how I need to move and I'm not sure what I could afford or where I'm going to go. Now it's less than a day later and a plan is possibly coming together.

As soon I got home last night from Buunni there was an email waiting from a friend Glenn who "snowbirds" to Southern Florida on weekends. Glenn and Maddy are wonderful old friends. Glenn is one of those true straight shooters in life that you can really trust. He read my blog and wrote that  they have very inexpensive apartments down there and he and wife could make appointments to see places down there if I was interested. My first impulse was, no. I really don't know anyone there plus that's where all of us Jewish Dinosaurs wind up and I'm not at dinosaur age yet. Guess I marinated on it while I was sleeping because when I woke I was thinking that warm weather, cheap rent and my mother wasn't a bad thing. Plus I'm approaching my walrus/dinosaur age quickly. My mom is going to be 83 and is alone down there. Wouldn't hurt for her to have some family around.

So I woke, spoke to Glenn in Palm Beach and Diana in Tampa and I'll be checking out both areas and probably be moving to Florida in the next few months. What the hell, got to go somewhere.  Only negative is my kids are far, but the way it is now I can't afford to see them so maybe this will work out with lower expenses. I called my mom in Florida and told her I would be moving to Florida.

Last night a good friend of mine Alice came over. I told her about my Florida plan. She told me 2 weeks ago I was moving to Arizona. Last week I was moving to Inwood, and this week I'm  moving to Florida. Hey, I have to go somewhere. Right now I'm petrified to spend a penny. Rent is $1,700 SS is $2,100 I'm late on my dentist work and I need $400 for that. I can't follow money anymore and am petrified to spend. At least in Florida the rents are around $500 and I could live like a human without having to beg. Alice reminded me that I hate Florida and I don't know anyone there. They also don't have GLWD God's Love We Deliver (meals on wheels type service) I do have problems preparing meals and deciding what to eat. Well, I have to go somewhere. 

I agreed with Alice that I don't know what the hell I'm doing but I told her that I have to do something. I've a few more months and then I won't have money to move. Then what happens? Nursing Home? Forget it, I'd rather live on the streets. Alice asked if I spoke with my POA and other friends. Yes, but they have there own lives and can't get wrapped up in the ongoing drama of Howard Glick FTD. Right now I rarely leave my apartment or see anyone. What does it matter where I go. She brought up medical help, I've support here and friends. All true. Alice told me she spoke to my friend Marc {POA) in Seattle a few weeks ago and he said it was insane for me to move anywhere. 

I'm lucky I'm doing as well as I am, but thinking anything through is getting impossible. I just feel like disappearing to somewhere and just write, film eat, breathe and drink wine. Alice texted Marc and said we need to have a conference call to figure this all out. Sharon Denny of AFTD has been a huge help as well and I suggested that she be in on the call if all the planets can align and everyone can get together. Alice asked if I wanted to be in on the call. Told her I don't really care. Just want to wind up somewhere, where I have enough money to live like a human and see my kids once in a while. 

Someone brought up last week that there are foundations that help people like me who are doing work that's helping many. This is brought up to me every few months, but that it. If someone out there can truly do something, I'd be forever grateful. I'd really just like to stay where I am.

I'm also extremely grateful for everyone out there that's been helping me over the last couple of years. I'd be no where without the love and support of all of you.

Starting to get a bit worn down here.

Howard