Wednesday, July 25, 2012

FTD and Cooking Fires

Last week I awoke mid-day to the smell of burning paper. No smoke, just a faint smell. Something was amiss.  I went to the kitchen to find my window fan on high and my friend Barbara, who was there earlier gone. I texted her asking if there was a fire. She replied that I had the God's Love We Deliver" meal in the oven and had the wrong setting on and the cardboard top burned. I wrote back "Oops".


Barbara of course was worried I would start a fire. I wrote back my fire prevention strategy. I told her that when I cook the oven timer is on and the oven goes off after a while. I also have a timer on my cell phone I use all the time. The problem isn't forgetting things as much as getting distracted. I get distracted so easily. If a timer goes off and I'm typing or doing something, poof-it's gone.


Like everyone with FTD/dementia, I try to develop a fail-safe end game strategy that works. I have a smoke detector which is not attached to the wall which is movable. When I'm cooking I place it on the kitchen table in my small kitchen. I then close the door tight so if my food accidentally starts to burn the small room quickly fills with oven smoke. In case all my strategies fail and my food starts to burn, my smoke alarm turns into an ear piercing get your ass in gear timer. 


When I cook a steak or hamburger, the smoke detector is my timer.


The screaming piercing wailing of the smoke detector timer has me in the smoke filled kitchen in an instant. I quickly shut the oven off and remove the screaming smoke detector from the kitchen and place it in the living room where it goes off fairly quickly. I'm then back in the kitchen opening the windows and turning on the venting fan. I keep the door closed so the smoke stays contained to the kitchen. I then check my precious meal which is always still edible. 


Food prepared and life goes on. 


To me, this is business as usual. FTD in action. To Barbara, she was hysterical laughing/horrified that I was using my smoke detector as a food timer. 


I explained to her it was all contained and just smokey, never a flame fire. She looked at me cross-eyed and told me we're going to Home Depot for a fire extinguisher just in case. 


I should start selling FTD certified smoke detectors.


Life as an FTD'er.


Howard



9 comments:

  1. Howard: Many things you write hit close to home. None as much as this one! Peter

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    1. I should start selling FTD certified smoke detectors,
      Howard

      Delete
  2. Hey Howard. So glad you have it all figured out:) You reminded me of my daughter Julie. And explained a little about what happened with her. She was sitting on the couch one day and had put cheese biscuits in the oven. She sat down to watch TV and must have been really into her show. He hubby who was sleeping in the bedroom with the door closed awoke to a apartment filled with smoke and both smoke alarms screaming. Julie was still sitting watching TV. When hubby questioned her, she calmly announced that there must be a fire somewhere in the building. She did not see the danger. Please Howard take care and pay attention while cooking. The Mom in me can't help but worry about you. Joy

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    1. Hi Joy,

      Thank you for your concern. I'm doing the best I'm can. I laugh and joke, but every things a struggle. I live alone and it's not easy. What's the alternative, a nursing home. They'll have to peel me out of here.

      Howard

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  3. Howard- you are the best. Thank you for reminding us once again that we are not alone in this, and that we have shared experiences. Is it ok if I share a link in my blog and on my Facebook page?

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    1. Hi Julie,

      Thank you. Feel free to always share my material.

      Howard

      Delete
  4. Yes well there was that time I burnt my microwave plus the chicken 'cooking'...... rang asda/walmart and complained at length to poor young man on the customer service about the instructions with the chicken....... then found I had set cooking time for SIX chicken pieces ...... instead of ONE!!!!

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  5. Howard, Please get a microwave and stop using your stove.We are fascinated by the elegant complexity of your technique, but its too dam dangerous.

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    1. I let out a deep sigh after reading your message. I just can't keep up with everything. I have a microwave, but it can't be used for everything.
      Doing the best I can here.

      Howard

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