Thursday, March 28, 2013

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. FTD

Was just standing and filming on the main drag (187th) yesterday when I was approached by a familiar face. He asked if I was "lost," I smiled, laughed and told him no. It's the street I'm known to wander and hang around. It took me a little while to remember Emile's name, but I've see him around on and off for decades and he knew my situation. Emile is someone I rarely see but know I can trust. That's something I've here in this neighborhood of New York. I was born and raised here and back and forth all my life. There's something about walking around a NYC neighborhood and not being able to walk 100 feet without nodding to a familiar face you've known forever, even if you don't know there name. You know them as kids, then adults with there own children and finally now some of them are becoming grandparents. 

I'll miss this neighborhood when I move. You build a whole relationship with the neighborhood. People envision NYC as totally cold and hard, but it's not. One of my docs, whose a good friend has threatened in the past to come to my apt door and drag me to her office if I don't make an appt. She still writes and calls for me to come in and never charges me. This is the real NYC that no one knows unless they live it. 

Since I've Goodyear Blimped out with my body, I decided to fast for a day or two. This way I would shrink my stomach and then start consuming smaller, healthier meals like salads. Hey, worked great. Fasted for a day and a half, then had a small salad for lunch. Last night uncontrollable carb cravings came on hard for Pizza/Pasta etc.. I drank about 5 glasses of water to help squash the hunger. Didn't work and about 10pm the Pizza delivery guy was knocking at my door with a Large pie. Hey, my stomach must've shrunk because I only ate 3 of the 6 slices. Normally I devour the whole thing. That of course led me to my smoke detector going off this morning. Got hungry this morning so threw the pizza slices in the oven. Forgot about it since I usually don't eat in the morning. While in the shower the smoke detector went off making enough noise to wake the dead. I use my smoke detector as a timer. When it goes off I know my food is ready. I was careful getting out of the shower. I usually run to the kitchen when the smoke detector goes off. I keep it on the kitchen table so it's easy to get to and disable.  Lost my balance a couple of days ago and feel out of the shower/bath. Since I don't wear a "Help, I've Fallen and Can't Get Up" pendents, I got out slowly before sprinting to the kitchen. I used to wear one of those Medic Alert bracelets but it interfered with sex, so I removed it. 

Not easy being alone with FTD. Maybe I should move to Utah and convert to Mormonism. Mormons like Jews. We're both outcasts. I've known many Mormons in my life and they are some of the finest people I've met and great partners/caregivers. A couple of wives would suit me well. Especially with this FTD teenage libido thing going. Hey, any Mormons reading this don't take offense. It's just me and I'm me. Maybe I'll come home from the AFTD conference in Salt Lake City with some wives or just stay in Utah. Need to do something in life where I've just a little help so I can devote time to some real FTD advocacy. Even with half a brain I know I can accomplish much given the opportunity.

As you can tell, it's afternoon and I'm losing it. I never write after mornings or do anything. Sort of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. FTD thing. I start getting tired and awareness and self control disappear. I'm real fun to hang out with. Never know what I'll say or do. People around me are usually hysterical laughing or chasing me down the street wanting to kill me.

At Cafe Buunni drinking simple brewed coffee. Hopefully I won't get kicked out for staring at every butt that walks by. Just realized and became aware that I've been doing that for a while. Hey, at least there are nice butts walking by. No free refills here, so no 2nd cup. Outa here soon.

*****Just told the guy they need to do something about refills. He said there isn't a policy and would give me a free refill. Ah, more free butt time.

Howard

9 comments:

  1. GREAT post Howard and I do hope no mormons are offended. I can vouch for your equanimity for all humans, faiths and creeds! Love ya' ... Marc

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  2. Howard, You are the BEST! I hope your moving situation gets settled sooner than later. I know you feel better when you can focus more on your FTD goals. I understand what you are saying about knowing the people in your neighborhood (even if by sight only)...it is a good feeling and I have witnessed acts of kindness by people in our small area when it comes to them being alert to my sister's FTD. Even though they don't know it's FTD. On the other hand, I am very saddened to say that she has been taken advantage of by people who know better but put themselves ahead of anyone else. They are morally deficient. I try to focus on the good people...so I won't be as likely to put the bad ones out of my misery, if you know what I mean.

    Also, I admire your integrity. I think it's fine to look at butts...you could always put on sunglasses if you get to be too obvious about it. ;)

    In your corner as always,
    Vicki

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    1. Thanks Vicki,
      It is remarkable the kindness some people show. Incredibly, people who I've never met or spoken to have stepped up with incredible acts of kindness.

      You are also correct that illness brings out the morally corrupt. People that take advantage of your situation to make them look better. Normally, they revert to who they really are and there ugliness comes out. Like your sister, I've seen many of these throughout the years but try to keep my blog in a positive light. It is an issue many of us run into with family members etc. Maybe I'll address it sometime.

      What can I say, I like looking at butts. Screw the sunglasses. Couldn't care less about being obvious :-)
      All the best,
      Howard

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  3. I think my favorite line that you've ever written is "I used to wear a Medic Alert bracelet, but it interfered with sex, so I removed it."

    It's always important to keep your priorities straight.

    Karen

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Thanks Karen,
      Glad you understand. At this point in my life, sex is without a question of doubt the priority :-) Your always welcome to move to NYC and join my merry harem :-)
      Howard

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  4. You are amazing!! Bless your heart!! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, experiences and most importantly, your wonderful sense of humor!!! ; ) Hugs from Karen in Reno

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  5. I have created a New Therapy that combines the existing "Music Therapy" with images/video from an Alzheimer patients past to help spark the mind. AMVIT-Alzheimers Music Video and Image Therapy. The combination of a persons life from the years of 18-25 through Music AND Video will spark emotions and cheerful thoughts. I have created a slideshow for my father and it REALLY makes him excited when he watches. Watch my fathers video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jo_DqH2ldU I will be helping millions afflicted by Alzheimers get some ease very simply, cheaply, and most importantly NON invasively. For more info, Please visit my project's crowdfunding page medstartr.com AMVIT.

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    1. Excellent job. Just checked it out. I think this would be very helpful for those with FTD as well.
      Howard

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