Friday, November 29, 2013

FTD Demented Thanksgiving

 Mayo Clinic Black Friday special. 
Buy one PET Scan, get one Frontal Lobotomy Free

There's good luck and bad luck. I've no luck. Would you believe I don't qualify because I have FTD.  The nurse saw the huge disappointment on my face. I waited all night for this once a year "Black Friday" special. She told me I should be happy.  FTD is a free Frontal Lobotomy without Surgery. "FTD au natural" she beamed. I smiled back meekly. Yep, guess I'm just an unappreciative, self centered asshole. The nurse felt bad for me and offered me a free Lumbar Puncture if I'd have the PET scan done. What's a Lumbar Puncture I enquired? Sounds like fun. She explained it used to be called a Spinal Tap, but they changed the name so they could bump up the price. She proudly explained how the medical community followed the Starbucks concept. Starbucks changed the name of chocolate to mocha and doubled the price. Mayo did the same. Spinal Tap to Lumbar Puncture. The rest of the nation did the same. Mayo is a true leader in the medical community. 


Thanksgiving Day. Knew I'd be alone and am absolutely exquisite with that. Of course I missed being with all my friends in NYC, but life is tradeoffs. I knew days like this were coming, but I also know they'll be over. Mindset baby. I will not get down or depressed. Just not going to happen. I'm living here in Arizona, riding my bike, driving my car and enjoying being out in the 73 degree sunny weather. Can also sort of afford to live here to. Can't do anything about  living in the land of the diminishing mind of FTD, but can keep my mindset positive and make sure every fucking day is good or great. I will not be fucking deterred on my mission of finding Happiness and Purpose in life. My FTD symptoms and issues I now blow off. Nothing is going to get to me. I'm living and loving life. 

Spent the morning with some Starbucks cronies. Everyone discussed there Tday plans. Yea, it sucked and I felt a void, but onward I roll. Also had trouble following cross conservations. FTD baby FTD. I live on planet earth and can't isolate. I'm much better with one on one, but can't give eviction notices to every one on the planet. Guess I need to deal with all you Normies :-) So I listen and try to keep up and absorb. Of course no realizes us FTD'ers are experts at making it seem like we're following. What am I going to interrupt every 2 minutes with, "Uh, excuse me but I'm not following because I'm losing my mind". Normal FTDness. Onward we forge. Let it all go and keep fucking going.

Met an absolutely remarkable woman. Have had light, intermittent contact through the world of FTD for close to a year. Now there's been first contact………………...

Decided to have a good bottle of wine with salad and Turkey or some sort of meat for my festivess Thanksgiving. Went to the wine store and took the recommended Cabernet. Next food. Started looking for restaurants and grocery stores. Wanted some real food for Thanksgiving.  In and out I went doing my indecision FTD wandering thing. Went on for over an hour. Finally gave up and went home. Salad and wine it was. 

Watched football and popped the wine cork and had my salad with wine about 4pm. Salad was from fairly old arugula and limp celery. Who cares, the wine was exceptional. Hey, no one out there can tell me I don't have my shit together and priorities in order. Wine first, food second. Enjoyed my Thanksgiving meal. Fell asleep whenever and woke about Midnight. I woke up ravished. Absolutely starving. All I had to eat all day was that leftover lifeless salad. Opened the refrigerator. Empty. I lie. There was cold water. My mouth was salivating, I was so hungry. I started laughing out loud and shaking my head at the absurdity of the situation. Here we are on Thanksgiving Day. Most people in the country are busting at the seams and wanting to vomit. There refrigerators are full to the brim with leftovers for the week. Here's Howard Glick FTD starving with absolutely nothing in the fridge. How am I to juxtapose such life contrast. With a good laugh. Big fucking deal. Couldn't even go back to sleep I was so hungry. Have been at Starbucks since about 5:30am. 

Still haven't eaten and I'm smiling. Couldn't give a shit. Being hungry doesn't bother me anymore. It's a definite Flufferfoot symptom. At least I'm still de-Walrus-ing. Left NYC 246 pounds, now 204 pounds.

Knew I was going to be alone and was okay with that. Moved here, changed my life, kids coming for Winter Break. That's life. Do the best we can and keep on trucking.

Life is what you make it. I've a wondrous life. No more mourning of the past or wants. There is today and tomorrow. Guess what? They'll both be good days. Just a bit of confusion over one issue. Should I go for the free Lumbar Puncture? :-)

Had many friends call and text all day and night. Was deeply appreciated. Meant a lot to me. Love you all.


Thank you to those that have sent me letters, gift cards, Starbucks, cash etc. They are deeply appreciated. For those that want to help there is a yellow donation button on top of the page or my address below with gift cards, checks or cash. Got my kids tickets to visit me but could use some help so I can do things with them while there here. All help is deeply appreciated:

Howard Glick
7791 East Osborn Rd. apt. 170E
Scottsdale, AZ 85251

* I run a private FTD Patient Support Group on Facebook. It is open to those with a firm FTD diagnosis. The support group is a place where those with FTD can gather in a positive environment and realize there not alone. It's also a source of accurate information which is rare in the quick changing world of FTD. The director of AFTD, Sharon Denny is a permanent guest member. AFTD has been kind enough to open up there medical board to answer member questions. Please email me at to join.

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