Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentines Day and FTD

One of the roughest things that someone with FTD or Dementia can find themselves with is alone. Many people are used to it, but not me. I've been in many good relationships, but try dating with FTD. 

Of course I get very lonely and about 6 months ago a friend of mine I suggested I join a dating site, OkCupid. 

How is dating with FTD?

When you mention FTD/Dementia, you might as well go on a date with a vampire and instead of bringing a pint of blood, you bring garlic and crosses.

 I went on approximately 10 dates and never made it to a 2nd date. The dates went from bad to worse. I met most at cafes or Starbucks in Manhattan. Most of the women were really nice. I was excited at the beginning of each date and usually wound up less than excited on the way home. 

Of course I don't lie and FTD/ Dementia does come up on the first date sooner or later. 

Some highlights:

A math professor who told me after 2 minutes that she was seeing someone on a regular basis, but just used OkCupid to meet new people. She decided to have brunch and ran up the bill.

An Emmy award winning comedian who I met at Starbucks. We talked for about 40 minutes and all of a sudden just got up and walked out. Guess the joke was on me. 

A lawyer from Brooklyn who somehow did a background check on me knowing only my first name. Right before our first date she all of sudden knew about FTD, Forbes article, Blog, Israeli army, etc. We never made it to the 1st date. 

A graphic artist who I met at the International Photograph Museum. She was 5 minutes late and called me on my cell phone. Turned out I was looking right at her 10 feet away. She barely looked like the person her photograph represented. Easily 10 years older than her picture. We spent 35 minutes in uncomfortable silence walking through the museum. Yes, me silent. You know it was bad.

This was in November and my friend Marc was in from Seattle helping me with the film. I've known Marc since I was 5 years old and he's always been straight with me. I asked him if he thought I might ever have another woman in my life. A couple of my challenges are:

53 years old
FTD 
Cancer
home heath aide
$1.45 a day in food stamps

Marc told me I didn't have much of a chance. 

I brought the situation up at "Riverstone Memory Club." Many of members were also single and lonely.

I announced to the group my intention of starting my own dating service. You've heard of E-Harmony, 
J-Date and Match.com

My dating service will be called D-Date or Dementia Date. 

It will be a dating service for people suffering from one of the Dementias or Memory Loss. You can date the same person again even if it doesn't work out after 3 months because chances are you won't remember them anyway.  All your dates will be like exciting first dates. 

If the date doesn't work out. Forget about it.


Well, it's been three months since that insightful conversation with Marc. Indeed my situation has changed. Now my challenges are:


54 years old
FTD 
Cancer
Heart Disease
$.63 cents a day in food stamps

ON THIS VALENTINE'S DAY, I NOW HAVE AN INTELLIGENT, BEAUTIFUL NEW WOMAN IN MY LIFE AND WE'VE STARTED AN EXCITING NEW RELATIONSHIP. LIFE IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. EACH NIGHT WHEN I GO TO SLEEP, I CAN'T WAIT TO WAKE AND FACE THE NEW DAY AS WELL AS SEE THE NEW WOMAN IN MY LIFE.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL!!! 



7 comments:

  1. You always make me laugh out loud! Angela Kimble

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. H Angela,

      If you were around me you would be laughing half the time and wanting to kill me the other half.
      Howard

      Delete
  2. You are a hoot, Howard! Love your attitude.

    HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to you, too.

    Sharon in TN

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sharon,

      Thanks. Happy Valentines day to you as well.
      Howard

      Delete
  3. Howard - your idea for d-date had me completely cracking up. Too funny!! Who is this lucky new lady in your life? So excited to hear you are happy. Happy Valentine's Day!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kari,

      The D-date project has been in the works for a while. I just keep forgetting about it though. The new lady is a bit shy, so details will be slowly released.

      Howard

      Delete
  4. My dating service will be called D-Date or Dementia Date.


    It will be a dating service for people suffering from one of the Dementias or Memory Loss. You can date the same person again even if it doesn't work out after 3 months because chances are you won't remember them anyway. All your dates will be like exciting first dates.


    If the date doesn't work out. Forget about it.

    ReplyDelete

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