Saturday, September 29, 2012

FTD and on a Roll

On a roll here at McBucks. A woman just walked in from the deluge outside soaked from head to toe. I started laughing hysterically out loud. She was at the cashier dripping and staring at me (along with all the other customers). She was half a store away at the cashier. As she stood there dripping she said, "what's so funny about this" her hands outstretched. I said loudly across the store, "don't worry, you won't melt, stain and I hope not shrink".  Considering she's 4'9", I could've been in trouble. She looked at me and said,"but I could get sick".  There was a moment of awkward silence and we both then started laughing. 

A new wonderful mom & pop coffee shop opened up right across the street. Cafe Bunni was opened by a lovely couple. It is tiny and the coffee is what McBucks used to be before it went mainstream. Absolutely delicious. I urge all of you coffee drinkers to give your neighborhood mom & pop cafe a shot. Right now because of the generosity of my readership and others I have about a $100 credit at McBucks. I'm making a slow transition to Bunny. I have to give credit that Starbucks corp. did listen and make changes after there disastrous renovation. 

A funny historical note. I used to not drink coffee for the longest time. I started drinking coffee 18 months ago because I started coming to Starbucks.

Certain corporate things do raise my blood pressure. The Starbucks corporation has developed there own language for the McBucks crew to use. They had a recent promotion. If you purchased something in the morning they would give you the receipt for a discount on some product in the afternoon. The first day I remember standing there facing the McBucks "partner" cashier and he proudly announced with a giant Stepford Wives smile. "Would you like your Treat Receipt".  I said "what" with a you have to be kidding me look on my face. He said, "A treat receipt for your afternoon snack". I said no thanks. By day 4 or 5 I couldn't take it anymore. After hearing, "Would you like your Treat Receipt"? I retorted with, "What do I look like a fucking dog". "Treats are for dogs and animals. You guys need to start talking like humans, not corporate lackeys". I felt like reaching across the counter and choking him to death. Urrr No one offered me a treat receipt after that. 

The point here is not that the workers of Starbucks are inauthentic and unoriginal because of there scripted corporate lingo. The point is a man with a rare progressive behavioral disease called FTD that can't help but react in an aggressive way a good deal of the time. Since he can't control himself, this is one of many symptoms that has put his life in ruins. The poor guy behind the counter who looked like he was 15 was in shock with his mouth open. People in line were staring at me like I was crazy. It's some life. 

It wasn't Starbucks and the service in the end. It was me not being aware that I'm unaware till after the fact. Even though it was pissing me off for days and I didn't say anything because you don't do that, I did it even knowing that I shouldn't do it without even knowing I was doing it.

Things are looking up these days. Why? Mindset and positive attitude. I've got a long road to haul, but I'm going to take it with humor and keep things going in a positive light. I've got a tremendous amount of things going. My blog, Howard's Brain, The FTD Patient Support Group, all the other groups and forums I contribute to and the book I'm writing. I'm taking it slowly and doing what I can, knowing it's making other lives easier. Things are falling through the cracks and life is tough. Big deal. Keep on going and keep making life productive, filled with purpose and find happiness. Accept reality and don't get caught up with day to day disappointments. 

Help is filtering in from a couple of places. I've some excellent friends that are they for me, trying to help me the best way they can. I'll just keep moving forward with hope that things are going to be all right. 



  1. You're doing a great job, Howard. Onwards and upwards!
    Nice that you have two places you like to visit for your coffee. Does the Mom and Pop store have wifi?


    1. Hi Jenny,
      Thank you. Yes the Mom and Pop shop has Wifi. Are you AFTD Jenny?

  2. Howard, what a change in attitude from just a few days ago. Your ability to rebound is astonishing. I'm so glad you have found a new coffee house, it sounds great! And it is always nice to have a choice.

    Could you send some of that enthusiasm my way, I've been down in the dumps for too long and I sure get exhausted from the daily battles.

    1. Hi Janet,

      We are facing crazy odd in a disease that can only get worse. That means we have to fight harder and harder to beat the disease and depression. The longer we're down, the harder it is to get up.

      In reality. My apartment is now a total wreck, my hygiene is slipping fast, I have no future plans at all and I know FTD is progressing. What I have is a will to get up and out every morning and get something done for a few hours. Blog, film whatever. Everyday I get out and accomplish something. Even if it's something small. When I accomplish something, that keeps me going from those everyday battles that never stop.

      Keep your head up Janet and never stop fighting.



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