Friday, August 23, 2013

Drivers License "Not Eligible"

Found out yesterday that I was awarded a "Blog of the Year Award for 2013. Finished Number 8 out of 25 awarded. Thank you Healthline for bestowing that honor on me. I've been blessed to be able to forge on with this Blog, the FTD Patient Support Group I created and "Howard's Brain" documentary now filming.

Howard Glick's the name. FTD Awareness the Game
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FTD/Dementia Support Group
Frontotemporal dementia may be rare, but its effects are a major part of blogger Howard’s life. In his struggle to adapt to life with his condition, he gave the rest of the dementia community a wonderful gift: the FTD/Dementia Support Group.
This online support network is full of personal reflections and documentation of Howard’s attempt to lead by example. His belief that life is what he will make of it and his firm commitment to finding happiness and health despite his illness make this blog a must-read.


Driving and FTD.  Everyone has an opinion. Every state has different laws regarding driving and disabilities. I've always been an excellent driver and still am excellent driver even with FTD. I take my driving privilege seriously and take many precautions. Vehicle usage is to get to Starbucks and store shopping. I've also been driving in NYC for years since I was diagnosed without incident. My doc's know I drive. No ones thrilled, but they understand. I will make sure I have adequate support around me so when the time comes to hang up my keys, I will.

Went to the Phoenix DMV - Department of Motor Vehicles to get my NYC driving license switched over to an Arizona driving license. Having researched it, it seemed like a painless procedure. $10, no eye check or any other exam and then I would be entitled to an Arizona drivers license that would be good for 10 years or till I'm 65 years old. Of course I had to wait the obligatory 1 1/2 hours. Though I wasn't anticipating any problems, I seem to have a black FTD cloud hovering over me as said so eloquently said by an FTD'er friend of mine. Gave the clerk my birth certificate and ID.

One minute later the, "Houston we have a problem" look came my way. The DMV clerk asked me if I recently had my license suspended or revoked. DUI etc. New York State DMV had sent her the message, "Not Eligible" for a new license. She gave me the, you must know what's going on look. My thought, "I've been FTD'ed". How? Who? Clerk lady told me I needed to call NYS DMV and gave me the paper with the case number on it.

"Next" and I was gone. I stood there in shock flabbergasted. I called the NYS DMV number.
The recording:
Press 1 for suspensions and revocations
Press 2  for......
Press 3 for medical suspensions (vision), appeals.

 "Shit, FTD, I'm so Fucked"

Here I am in Arizona, state that prides itself on personal liberties. I can get a gun, but not a drivers license. Actually it's blocked by New York State so maybe I could go through the process of obtaining a license from scratch in AZ. My mind is racing a million miles a minute. 

The recording said the office was closed and was open Mon-Fri 8:30am -12:30pm.

Horror - I just got a car and moved to Scottsdale, AZ. Temperature outside 100-118 degrees every day. I need a car. What happened, was it a cabal of feeding frenzied caregivers from one of the support groups I belong to believing I shouldn't drive? One of the Power of Attorney's I fired who were against me driving? A rogue criminal who pretends to be people to mess up peoples lives who surfaces time to time to fuck me? Maybe a new covert unit of Government, the FTD Police out to coral rogue FTD'ers.

Hey, I understand irrational thought being partially brainless and having my own quips. I was in 2 major accidents because of people and there cell phones. Just like Mother's Against Drunk Driver's wants castration for DUI offenses, I want all cell communication jammed when the car engine goes on. 

Nothing I could do till the next morning so I took action and did the most logical thing I could think of. Got drunk off my ass. 

The next morning at 5:35am, 8:35am New York time I was toggling through the choices. After what felt like hours I got through to a sweet New Yorker. Took about 5 minutes for sweetness to look me up and said the good news was she couldn't help me. She dealt with revocations, suspensions and hard core cases. She didn't know what was up with me, but she'd transfer me. Okay, I'm thinking. Just a little FTD here. I'm so Fucked. 

Now I was transferred to an extremely official man. I was waiting to hear, "Mr. Howard Glick, this is Captain James T. Kirk and I'm here to inform you that your FTD run is over. As we speak your vehicle is being towed and impounded. Your license is permanently revoked and outside your door is an entourage. You will be escorted to a secure dementia facility for the remainder of your days". Hotel California. You can check in, but you can never leave.

In fact, that is as surreal as the reality that was about to happen. 

Mr. Official said, "Mr. Glick, you were flagged by Homeland Security. The investigation revealed a past impropriety.   

I'm Aware that I'm not Aware
Okay lets see if I can put this together. My severe anxiety attack and near heart failure for being deemed "Not Eligible" for an Arizona drivers license had nothing to do with me having FTD. It had to do with me being investigated by Homeland Security as a national security risk because I'm moving from New York to Arizona and am requesting an out of state license. That makes sense.

Mr. Official went on to explain Homeland Security is now monitoring people moving state to state and acquiring licenses. "Mr. Glick, you were flagged and a subsequent investigation revealed an  uninsured vehicle incident in 1978." 

35 years ago in 1978 I had a motorcycle accident on the NYS Thruway on the way to New England College. This is what all the fuss is about. (What - No FTD Police? No secure dementia facility?)
Israeli army. Lebanon 1982

Mr Official, "Mr. Glick, you'll have to pay a $300 fine by certified check to NYS DMV for the 1978 driving an uninsured vehicle infraction. It will take 6-8 weeks after payment is made and you'll be cleared by Homeland Security and NYS DMV to receive a new out of state Arizona license."

Who would ever believe the George Bush Patriot Act would ever be used for something other than catching bad guys. Thank God it isn't being used to go after a rogue FTD'er like me.

You can't make this shit up.


I just moved to Arizona. Any help in the way of Gift Certificates: Target, Costco, Walmart, Starbucks etc. or checks would be deeply appreciated. Or if you just want to write me a letter or a note, that would be nice.

Howard Glick

7791 East Osborn Rd. Apt. 170E
Scottsdale, AZ 85251


  1. oh my gosh, Howard. Congratulations on the award and thank you for the laughter from a very funny blog post. I am sorry that you had to go through so much stress, but glad that you will eventually be able to get your new license.

    I voluntarily gave mine up in 2002 because of my dementia (after some very close calls), so I understand what the loss of independence from not having a license means.


  2. Have you heard of the UK comedian whose tag line is


    Wow - unbelievable! Except so typical of bureaucracy..........

  3. For this is what we gave up our personal liberties via the Patriot Act? To catch a traffic infraction from 1978? Well that is going to keep the country secure from terrorist threats. Thank you Shrub Bush and Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney. You're right, Howard, we couldn't make this stuff up on our craziest FTD day. And you wouldn't have to have FTD to think you were crazy after what you have gone through with AZ and NY DMV. Good news is that you will eventually get your license and it is late August so you will only fry in PHX for the next two months. Good luck, my friend.

  4. What?? How come you didn't get fined at the time? How can they decide you had to pay a fine 35 years later? I don't understand how the US works at all. Terrifying though. Big Brother is watching you. :-(

  5. Hotel California. You can check in, but you can never leave.
    Welcome home!

  6. My brother-in-law with FTD could barely carry on a conversation but could still operate a manual transmission. I would follow him while he was driving and he seemed to be a fine driver. I don't think driving skills are controlled by the frontal lobe.

    1. Hi Susie,
      I've no problem driving my mini stick. Was talking with a cop (new friend) this morning and couldn't understand what she was saying about dangerous traffic situations here in Scottsdale. Yes, she knows I've FTD. Planning on introducing myself to Scottsdale Police department.

  7. This articles offers advice on what to expect from a support group and how to get the most out of attending one. Topics include sharing your story and problems, getting and giving advice, and respecting differences of opinions and philosophies.


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