Thursday, August 8, 2013

NYC Departure

My last few days in NYC were a blur. Running around the city trying to get tasks done. Picked up the new camera. Tried to set it up by myself with the instruction manual. After 10 minutes I realized it was shades of yesteryear. Couldn't set up the old one, so why the new one. The boys at B&H Photo are always up to the task. I took it down and they got it done. They also sold me some new disks for the new camera.

Then it was time to run uptown with the full disks to UPS them to the filmmaker. In the morning I couldn't figure out what was what. I had 3 full ones, but four disks. Who's on first, What's on second and I've no idea what the fuck is on disk 3 or 4. I tried looking at them in my Mac, but forgot how to open the files. 10 minutes later I realized my blood pressure was spiking. Wasn't to many years ago I was teaching Photoshop and Pagemaker and now it's FTD Howard. Was also upset because I couldn't find the GPS I bought for Arizona. Don't know if I shipped it, left it or lost it.

Now I'm to head uptown from B&H Photo to UPS except I realized that UPS doesn't ship on the weekends. I had to be on that street on Monday, so I could drop it off then. So what does Howard do? I travel the half hour plus out of my way to go to UPS. It's closed on Sunday. No shit. But I already knew it couldn't ship or was closed. I went out to have lunch and sat there blank. Just sat there so down in the dumps. Events were controlling me and I wasn't on top of anything. I realized that pesky parasite I call depression was hovering like a mosquito that needed swatting. Sorry, no time or room for depression. Depression is the No. 1 enemy for those with FTD or any type of dementia. I choose to fight the pesky parasite by trying to keep to a routine or push myself out of the ruminating thoughts which lead to self destruction. No magic pills for me. Seen that movie and don't like it. Only pills I take is for blood pressure and heart. I totally admit I'm way out of wack right now. Have been in Colorado for a couple of days now and I haven't started to recover yet. I still have no idea why I went to the UPS store and I don't care. Moving on and not looking back.

I've had calls from people who witnessed the Uhaul debacle in NYC. They've wanted to help me try and get some of my money back. There were plenty of witnesses to the incompetence of the the movers that caused the disaster. I could use the money but I'm dead tired and need to pick my battles. Joseph has been trying to help me with and going way out of his way wanted to go up to Uhaul with me and others Sunday. I told him I had to choose getting the new camera set up downtown and get the filming on track. I just don't have a Uhaul battle in me and need to look forward as what is the most productive use of my energy and time. Sometimes you just have to let things go. 

My final NYC Saturday night my friends Sheila and Steve threw a farewell party for me. There were about 20 people there. It was a wonderful send off. The party was just what I needed having the UPS debacle and living a life rifled in confusion for who knows how long now. Spent my last 6 days in NYC at Steve and Sheila's. It was wonderful being with close friends who can put up with my FTDness. 

A fun twist off of, "I'm aware, that I'm not aware"

Doc Laurie was sweet enough to give me a lift to the airport. Brought me coffee and croissant's. On the plane some jerk in front of me opened a beer and started arguing while we were taxiing. Captain got involved and declared, "your not flying on my aircraft." We turned back and disposed of the despicable, unruly passenger LOL Sucker. Laughing because as I was watching this unfold I'm thinking that could easily be me and FTD be booted off. NAFW = Not a Fucking Word baby. My travel Mantra.

I was engulfed in mass confusion my last few days in NYC. Now I'm sitting here in Colorado and just filled a memory card of the camera. So of course I spent a half hour ripping apart my bags looking for one of the new ones I purchased. I didn't find the memory cards, but I did find my GPS hidden in clothing. Score!  I've an extra memory card in the camera so I'm rocking and rolling. I'm sure I'll find the others. I don't recover like I used to. As long as I can snap back a bit, I'll be okay.

Brenda and family have been incredible hospitable. We're in Crestone, which is an hour from Alamosa, Co. Got here by puddle jumper which was a wild ride going through a storm in the rockies.

I'm now sitting here 8,000 feet up looking out at the Colorado Rockies. I'm lucky to be the guest of Brenda a fellow FTD'er, her husband Chris, the twins and  106 lb. Dresden who is pictured below. What a wonderful family. It was really sweet for them to invite me to stay with them while I was having a travel void with no where to be. Having FTD and spending time with someone else that shares your struggles is a powerful cathartic bond. A common bond with a rare disease almost no one understands or gets. Meetings and get togethers are one of the larger than life impacts the FTD Patient Support Group I created have initiated. Guess I'm doing something with my life besides being a nuisance. There still is so little support for FTD Patients, but it's improving. AFTD has also started group phone conference calls with FTD Patients. 

I'll be here for a few more days of R&R then picked up and shuttled by some FTD friends of mine to Denver for  get togethers etc.

Spoke with the car dealership. When I land in Phoenix on Monday they will pick me up at the airport and bring me straight to the dealership where I'll pick up my new used Mini Cooper. I'm really excited. Heard from Uhaul. My stuff won't be delivered till Thursday. So I'm still not in a perfect world. Guess I'll get a sleeping bag for a few days :-)

Have received more supportive letters from my ALFA friends in AZ. That's huge for me. Just need a little bit of help.

Doing great here, but still totally exhausted. 



  1. I've always wanted a Mini Cooper. Guess I'll have to put Arizona on my itinerary for my next trip. Wait - is it a convertible? Because otherwise, I'll have to reconsider.

    I'm thinking of you. M'shanei makom, m'shanei mazal (change your location, change your luck).

  2. Crystal in AZ :-)August 8, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    You are rockin' and rollin' Howard! So glad to hear you have points of support/rest between NYC and Arizona. Can't wait to see you make it here safely, and apparently in style via your awaiting mini cooper (hopefully, not a convertable-lol). Take care, keep on keepin' on, and we will see you REAL soon!!

  3. Be safe, be cool and hang in there. You have done so well! The gang here are cheering you on.
    First Buc preseason game is tonight. It is hot as he'll (95but feels like 105)so should be interesting. At least I can go sit in the account if I can't take it.

  4. Howard, so glad to hear from you. I've been thinking about you for the last few days. Oh the foiables of traveling.....especially with FTD. Glad that you made it to Colorado. Hope that you can get some sleep. Sorry about ALL your mishaps! I'm giving you until the end of August to get settled in. I'm praying for you.

  5. Sounds like my last move experience...
    Prayers and safe travels.

  6. Happy landings!
    People are so kind, bless them.
    Love you and wish you the best!


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